#CanadiansRemember #Poppy -letter from visiting USA Soldier- Hey youngbloods lets get students to help us transfer cash to cards for legions and poppies- the good stuff with links of Canada

lets get students to help us transfer cash to cards for legions and poppies

lets get students to help us transfer cash to cards for legions and poppies

FUREY: The poppy problem is real — but there are solutions ...

https://torontosun.com › opinion › columnists › furey-the-poppy-problem-is...

6 days ago - Let's see how many people are wearing poppies, I told myself. ... None on the college and university students heading downtown. .... don't have the cash on you take one and then make a credit card donation on the Legion's website when you get home. Or if you're just that cash strapped, take one anyway.

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I’m proud to be Canadian, where at least I know I’m free. And I won’t forget the one’s who died who gave that right to me…

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Lee Greenwood wrote this for our Canadian troops and Canadians who rose up for our troops in Afghanistan… and #HighwayofHeroes… Lee was so moved by millions and millions of Canadians stepping up and #HighwayOfHeroes

Millions of Canadians tell fox news off with lee greenwoods proud to be canadian


HIGHWAY OF HEROES CANADIAN RESPONDS TO FOX NEWS
UPDATED - July 1 2013 - 158 KILLED IN ACTION After listening to those disgusting comments about Canada and our proud military by those idiots on Fox News, th...
HIGHWAY OF HEROES CANADIAN RESPONDS TO FOX NEWS
Lee Greewood was so moved by millions and millions of Canadians standing up for their troops and forming the Highaway of Heroes that Greenwood wrote this song for Canada…. SO WHEN FOX NEWS GOT UGLY…. this was Canada’s response….March 24th 2009  - GOD BLESS YOU CANADA  #WeRemember #RemembranceDay


LEE GREENWOOD- GOD BLESS U CANADA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ckfXr1EHO9U

UPDATED -  July 1 2013 - 158 KILLED IN ACTION
After listening to those disgusting comments about Canada and our proud military by those idiots on Fox News, this slideshow shows how Canada honors its fallen heros - who have died in Afghanistan  - 155 to date - 151 brave men and 4 brave women each and every time they arrive home in Canada - along the government re-named Highway of Heroes between Trenton and Toronto. On December 30, 2009, along with 4 soldiers, a young female Canadian journalist as also killed.   As an adult child of a Navy veteran who spent 5 years of his life on the NORTH ATLANTIC in  a small corvette during WW 2 fighting the Nazis,  you and all your pals should be ashamed!!!!  And I am the very proud Aunt  of a  nephew Mark who, with a Master’s Degree in War Studies from the Royal Military College in Kingston Ontario VOLUNTEERED to go and serve in Afghanistan.  Canadians are justly outraged.  …OH …and by the way.. I was never SO PROUD when the Canadian Government made the decision on behalf of Canadians NOT to support YOUR war against IRAQ!  That was the right decision as history will show.

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Here's the disgusting Fox news mantra...


 Response To Fox News Ignorant Comments  About Our Canadian Military and Country

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqJXvLfQQjQ

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Highway of Heroes Tribute

ARTICLE: Canadians rose up-   2007-  Jay Forbes had been receiving between 400 and 500 signatures a day in support of the name “Highway of Heroes” but the amount of people signing the petition has rapidly increased over the last few days.
“In the first four days I had 4,500 signatures,” Forbes told CTV’s Canada AM on Friday morning. “But now…I (have) 20,000.” https://www.ctvnews.ca/stretch-of-401-to-be-renamed-highway-of-heroes-1.253817

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Highway of Heroes Tribute
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3IutxvltBM&feature=emb_title




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proudly canadian - Patrick LaMontagne Canadian superstar editorial cartoonist and nature lover - and yes we are folks .. yes we are

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#RedFriday QUOTE: From A Visiting U.S. Soldier - While we do have a day to remember our fallen, where I live in North Carolina has nothing like it. Our Memorial Day has turned into businesses marketing sales for the their products and average citizens using it as a day off work to go to the beach or barbecue. The true meaning has been lost. But not in Canada. No. You all understand the sacrifice these men and women have made and choose to stand outside in the freezing cold for hours honoring their memory. Tears streamed down my face as I watched the pride in your eyes as different branches of your armed forces marched past, the claps for the veterans, some in wheelchairs and some barely able to stand as they put their age and pain aside and marched past in formation. It was beautiful.

I will be wearing a poppy every year from now on. I told you it was life changing and I meant it. Your fallen will never be forgotten by this American, no matter what happens. Thank you for being such hospitable hosts and showing me there still is hope and pride in the greats who have walked before us. - thx Charlene McInnis for the care and share- Old momma Nova  - ARTICLE

A letter from a visiting USA Soldier- on Canada's Remembrance Day and our Poppy

https://985thejewel.com/2019/11/14/open-letter-to-ottawa-from-a-visiting-u-s-soldier/?fbclid=IwAR32vobY_7fno0-qiANtR-hNiG06SS6aFSouy3-61QXwJNyXbXspYpjq9C8

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our PEI Princess Charlene McInnis badass share.... CBC News needs cleansing seriously.... after all these years... even the youngbloods who dont do hockey are speaking up about #SocialMedia and #MSM getting too caught up in themselves... great quote:

My parents raised me with Polish traditions but moved to Canada–nay, fled to Canada–to give my sister and I a better life. In Canada, we have freedoms and a great quality of life that not everyone around the world is fortunate to have.

Political correctness and cancel culture have taken leaps forward while moving us, a free society, backwards.

People are scared to speak honestly or have different views. Even the slightest amount of patriotism can be construed as racism or white supremacy.

Don Cherry, 85, has just been fired from Sportsnet where he has been hosting Hockey Night in Canada for 38 years. This may qualify him as a Canadian treasure–but not even a beloved Canadian sports host can escape the outrage culture we live in.

His recent on-air rant about the lack of poppies worn around Toronto in which he used the term “you people” has gotten him canceled.

What’s even more crazy is that he was fired on Remembrance Day, for defending the poppy and our veterans.

Not only did I roll my eyes I went on my own little rant.

You people means you people. “You people” meaning the people that come to our great country and don’t assimilate, meaning respect the customs and traditions of this great country.

The people who want our freedom because they didn’t have it back home yet won’t give a dollar to help our veterans who fought for that freedom.

The people that love our democracy, our free speech, our freedom to practice their religion but won’t honor the soldiers that made all of that possible.

Cherry isn’t wrong. What’s wrong is when a Canadian–born or immigrated– doesn’t show the respect that our veterans deserve.  ARTICLE:


A response to Don Cherry’s firing from a daughter of immigrants
https://www.thepostmillennial.com/a-response-to-don-cherrys-firing-from-a-daughter-of-immigrants/?fbclid=IwAR2vV98hTIcE0alq6EIn68HEmfw94pmlAb3eV-EvlXskh8BPj5Nwiitfghc


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“At the going down of the sun and in the morning. We will remember them.” See the photos from the Kentville Remembrance Day service and wreath laying ceremony. Royal Canadian Legion Kentville Branch #006  - ARTICLE

https://www.saltwire.com/news/local/lest-we-forget-hundreds-converge-on-kentville-cenotaph-for-remembrance-day-374744/?location=annapolis-valley
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FUREY: The poppy problem is real — but there are solutions
Regardless, one out of 60 is a very poor showing. The poppy problem is real. We need to work on turning it around.

One thing that keeps cropping up in conversations about the poppy is how we live in an increasingly cashless society. The Royal Canadian Legion knows this, and is working on plans to address it.

“People can donate online and receive a Digital Poppy in the name of a veteran, and share this poppy online if they wish,” says Nujma Bond, communications manager for Legion national headquarters, in an email exchange with the Sun. “It’s another way to complement the traditional poppy campaign, and reach a segment of the population that doesn’t carry as much cash around as they might once have.”

While some will go this route, others still want a physical poppy but hardly ever carry cash on them. It should first be noted that the Legion doesn’t actually demand money for a poppy.

“Donors are welcome to contribute as much or as little as they wish,” Bond explains. “Some people may not be in a position to donate any money at all, and that is also fine — they are still welcome to receive a poppy.”

If you don’t have the cash on you take one and then make a credit card donation on the Legion’s website when you get home. Or if you’re just that cash strapped, take one anyway. And if you’re lucky to have extra money to spare, put more in the tin to cover those who put less.

The Legion also launched a pilot project in Calgary this year, where there were text-to-donate and QR codes on poppy boxes to facilitate digital payments. If it proves a success, it will be rolled out nationally.

I don’t know why hardly anybody on the subway wore a poppy. Maybe some just don’t care or don’t appreciate our history. Others probably kept forgetting to have cash on hand. And then there are those like me who need to think before they leave the house.

All of us, in each of these categories, can and should do better.   BRILLIANT ARTICLE

FUREY: The poppy problem is real — but there are solutions

https://edmontonsun.com/opinion/columnists/furey-the-poppy-problem-is-real-but-there-are-solutions/wcm/36e08e7a-7ee7-49bf-a44d-4616642f3eea

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#HeroesAmongUs #FirstNations - #Canada

Was watching incredible Atlantic Canada's tv Eastlink documentaries on our Canadians - and sacrifices and history of our beloved Canada... @ForgedInStone was brilliant... and the greatest War Sniper in history is Canada's First Nations... The Best Sniper Of World War 1 – Francis Pegahmagabow

https://www.warhistoryonline.com/world-war-i/best-sniper-world-war-1-francis-pegahmagabow.html?fbclid=IwAR0-8UfjPyeLOqmZF3XtGG9bUoihAqYhRBWb3nh3r0Bnzfu2EPbiq0D246E


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Canadian Forces: A lesson in gay inclusion  #RedFriday #loveislove

MONTREAL — While Barack Obama plunges his country into a controversial debate about gays in the U.S. military, he could perhaps find comfort in the Canadian experience which celebrates an anniversary milestone next week.
The U.S. president has promised to repeal America’s policy of, ’Don’t ask, don’t tell,’ reviving a heated debate in his country that has not made a ripple in Canada since Oct. 27, 1992.
On that day Canada’s Federal Court ruled that barring homosexuals from military service violated the Charter of Rights and Freedoms in a landmark verdict that prompted more openly gay men and women to join the ranks of the army, air force and navy.
In the last 17 years, many have risen to the top in their respective fields — an otherwise impossible feat under rules that once barred the promotion of enlisted individuals who’d been outed.
Luc Cassivi is one of them.
He certainly didn’t talk about his sexual orientation when he joined the Canadian Navy in 1983. He’s now the highest-ranking sailor aboard HMCS Ville de Quebec, a commander in the navy, and he’s no longer shy about who he is.
"I’ve been openly gay for a number of years. My friends and my co-workers know it and it surely has not been an impediment for me progressing," Cassivi said in an interview aboard his Halifax-based frigate.
"I’m not saying that things have always been rosy. There were periods when things were difficult for a lot of people. . . . But I think we’re well past that at this point."
According to the Palm Centre, a California-based think-tank focused on research related to gender, sexuality and the military, Canada is a leader among the 25 countries that now permit military service by openly gay people. Canadian Forces chaplains have been blessing same-sex weddings on military bases since 2005.
Cassivi spent 15 years in tight quarters as a submariner. He said he’s experienced his share of awkward moments and uncomfortable jokes. There were even times he considered leaving the military.
But once the rules changed, he says, so did the culture. Opportunities began to surface. These days, Cassivi says, success is dictated by performance.
"It’s not colour, cultural background, gender or the like. It’s (whether) you are competent at what you do," he said. "If you’re competent at what you do, then the team will take you in and fully integrate you."
Cassivi said coming out with his colleagues merely simplified his life. He doesn’t see himself as a champion for gay rights and says this is the first time he’s ever spoken in the media about his sexuality. What he’s most concerned about, he says, is getting the best out of his crew.
"I try to do the best job I can and if somebody sees me as a role model, good for them. If what I do inspires them to carry on and achieve their full potential, that’s great, but that’s for them to judge, not me."
Michelle Douglas is heartened to learn just how much things have changed for her fellow homosexuals.
The 45-year-old public servant was inadvertently thrust into the spotlight when she was discharged from the military police in 1989 because she was — in their words — "not advantageously employable due to homosexuality."
She had no idea at the time the historic impact her legal challenge would have, but as the anniversary of that fateful victory approaches, Douglas said she’s thrilled to have played a "small part" in the rights movement.
"It was a real turning point for equality rights for gay and lesbian people in Canada," she said.
"To have such an institution as the military now be open to gay and lesbian service members was an important victory."
While she didn’t return to the Canadian Forces, she was pleased to see service members marching for the first time at Toronto’s pride festival in 2008.
Megan MacLean, a spokeswoman for Canada’s Department of National Defence, said the military keeps no statistics regarding homosexual members but says gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people serve in all three branches of the military.
Since the rules changed in 1992, she said, incidents of discrimination and harassment have been "extremely rare."
She touted Canada as a global leader when it comes to inclusiveness. She noted, however, that the Obama administration had not sought any Canadian advice on how to tackle the thorny subject.

#RedFriday #loveislove - from 2015

http://thechronicleherald.ca/Canada/1149013.html

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10156870514626886&set=a.10152685943101886&type=3&theater

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The Saviour of Rwanda- our Canadian beloved Roméo Dallaire says the truth siren like no other on war... because he was there.... stayed when not one UN/G7/Mainstream Media gave a sheeet... in Rwanda... and nails todays's monsters with integrity, bravery and honesty... from Chronicle Herald... thank u... his book and the movie = Shake Hands With The Devil says it all about United Nations neglect .  (In Flanders Fields)
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10153649960106886&set=a.10152685943101886&type=3&theater

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QUOTE:

But it was probably inevitable. Canada’s military history is still studied and cherished by the odd duck like me, but as our Second World War and Korean War veterans die off, we are losing our direct family ties to these conflicts, the last of our large-scale mobilizations. When I was a kid, there were plenty of combat veterans in our family, all of them having fought against Germany or Japan. They’re all gone now. In my inner circle of friends, one has military experience (and that was in a foreign, though allied, service). Public schools and community groups are having a harder and harder time finding healthy, ambulatory veterans willing and able to come speak at Remembrance Day events.

Canada’s military shrank dramatically after the Second World War, and has been shrinking since with only rare infusions of cash and manpower. Our small peacetime military continues to provide honourable service in support of peace and the defence of Canada and our allies. But with barely 100,000 Canadians in uniform out of a population edging toward 40 million, it’s just math. Few of us have a direct tie to the forces or a veteran these days.

Some of us remember anyway, and put on a poppy (or four) because we remember. But many of us were putting on a poppy for someone we knew and loved. And there’s a damn good chance that that person is gone to their reward now. Even for our veterans, it seems, out of sight can eventually become out of mind.

There’s a lot the Royal Canadian Legion can do to turn things around, to build on the bump we saw this year. Like a growing number of Canadians, I don’t really carry cash or coins on me, so some way I could tap a donation with my phone while taking a poppy from a box would be helpful. A sturdier product might help keep poppies visible on lapels, instead of crushed underfoot.

But no one can bring back our departed veterans and the family ties they’ve left behind. They were our true reserves of memory and pride. We’re losing that. And we won’t get it back.

ARTICLE:
https://nationalpost.com/opinion/matt-gurney-don-cherry-was-right-about-one-thing-fewer-people-are-wearing-poppies?video_autoplay=true

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“An 18-year-old boy is carried into the shock ward, and he looks up at my trustingly asking, “How am I doing, nurse?” I just kiss his forehead and say, “You are doing just fine soldier.” He smiles sweetly and says, “I was just checking,” Then he dies. We all cry in private. But not in front of the boys. Never in front of the boys.” ~ June Wandrey, WWII
https://www.facebook.com/HistoricalPicturesNews/photos/a.1739735179372636/2771809149498562/?type=3&theater

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To beloved Uncle Harold - #WWII  ... he came home so broken and we lost so much much and so much poverty... we said Uncle ... did we really win the war?  

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Do not cry for me, For I am a Canadian soldier. Guardian of the Ture, North, strong and free- Ambassador of the "Red Maple Leaf"
https://www.facebook.com/425749410954026/photos/a.425847450944222/441071376088496/?type=3&theater

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Hank Snow - A Soldier's last letter

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23x_Awl78S4


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quote: Bernie M. Farber: It is little known that during the war 16,883 Canadian Jews enlisted — the highest of any Canadian faith or ethnic group per capita at the time #RemembranceDay #honour #Poppy  -ARTICLE

https://nationalpost.com/news/second-world-war-hero-pte-devries-exemplified-the-very-best-of-jewish-honour?fbclid=IwAR3v9LS2rJASeGvJd7tehZxs0n7SiUsU8kkI65cHWVQLsfVAF4u8AT8KPK0
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thx BBC: quote: PARTII - But why would someone in their 20s be so engaged by this?

She says the shunning of people over their appearance has a particular resonance for today's young people who are under constant pressure over how they look.

"Social media has a huge influence on how people identify as individuals," she says.

In a culture of selfies and "narcissism", the idea of being blamed for looking unusual or unattractive still has a contemporary relevance, she says.

There is also a sense of righting an injustice. Ms Grigsby says there are many memorials to World War One, with often elegant depictions of heroic soldiers.

But she says there has been an "airbrushing" of the stories of men whose personal struggles continued for decades after the war.

"Memory is a choice," she says.

PART 1

A World War One memorial to soldiers whose story has been described as an unresolved "taboo" is set to be unveiled.

Historian Ellie Grigsby has designed a statue commemorating the thousands of soldiers who suffered terrible facial disfigurements and who often found themselves shunned rather than welcomed back as heroes.

The statue is to be unveiled by descendants of some of the soldiers, at Queen Mary's Hospital in Sidcup, Kent, where many of the men were treated.

Ms Grigsby has researched the soldiers with "broken faces", whose uncomfortable memory she says has been neglected in war commemorations.   ARTICLE

https://www.bbc.com/news/education-50167927?SThisFB&fbclid=IwAR1hRU4YOedc35SvnHcItItKKgQd5qfS8bcY-mGwi75PLiV1WqYTHdgrHTk

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oh beloved Richard Blackwolf ... Canadian #Metis Veterans.... what a beautiful deserved recognition... serving and saving our Canada since before 1812 ...we love you so much - ARTICLE

Metis veterans get long-awaited recognition ahead of Remembrance Day

https://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/metis-veterans-get-long-awaited-recognition-ahead-of-remembrance-day-1.4676863#_gus&_gucid=&_gup=Facebook&_gsc=Knt7ZrN

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quote: The First Special Service Force was officially activated on July 20, 1942, under the command of Lt.-Col. Robert T. Frederick.

The shoulder patch insignia for the unit was a red spearhead, with "USA" written horizontally and "CANADA" written vertically.

Preference for entry into the 1,800-strong force was given to men who had previously been employed as lumberjacks, forest rangers, hunters, game wardens or in similar, labour-intensive jobs. #WWII #RemembranceDay #VeteransDay

ARTICLE    Halifax museum honours legacy of former member of Canadian-U.S. Black Devils

https://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/halifax-museum-honours-legacy-of-former-member-of-canadian-u-s-black-devils-1.4676490#_gus&_gucid=&_gup=Facebook&_gsc=OvynBFi

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Ontario's new war memorial to Afghanistan Veterans unveiled... and it looks to be beautiful and stunning....  ARTICLE

https://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/ontario-s-new-war-memorial-to-afghanistan-veterans-unveiled-1.4676390#_gus&_gucid=&_gup=Facebook&_gsc=YAk1WiK

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A single red poppy has the soul of a thousand heroes and the tears of a million loved ones...

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10156298950596331&set=a.10151275158136331&type=3&theater

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blogged:  from Canada with love-  Canada Military News- Tomb of the Unknown Soldier- Lady Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon (adored her as our Queen and King George VI- Canada loved them so- 1939 vist raised the bar on Canada's love of this Royal couple that lasted still to this day)- their picture is still on my prayer table with our Pope's- the Queen's fittingly is on my fridge because that's where all the kids like it and her smile  #RemembranceDay  #RedFriday #Poppy

http://nova0000scotia.blogspot.com/2015/11/canada-military-news-tomb-of-unknown.html


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Animals who served our Canada and saved us as well #RemembranceDay

ARTICLE...
https://canoe.com/news/national/from-gander-to-winnie-remembering-animals-who-served-canada

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CANADA FUN.... from myspace days 2005 and 2006 onwards for our beloved troops, firstresponders and veterans... 42 nations shared and empowered us old underground angels for good stuff 4 our troops

Canada fun... and jokes..

Joke time..posted the first one  to my beloved troops...  taken from myspace back in early 2005 and 2006, 2007

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I would like to share an old Native Canadian chant.

Each year, during the first week of April, the Native Canadians would wake up at sunrise and repeat their chant over and over. They repeated this powerful chant primarily for three very important reasons:

1. To ensure that their crops are bountiful and will keep them and their families fed all year;

2. To ward off harm/evil;

3. And gain great wisdom. It goes like this:

Oooooh waaaaah (pause)

Taaaaa foooooo (pause)

Lie aaaammmm (pause)

Now repeat it without the pause.

As you repeat it more often and more quickly, its message becomes clear and you will become wise! Try it. It works very well and very quickly!!!

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J'aimerais partager un vieux chant canadien Natal. Chaque an, pendant la première semaine d'avril, les Canadiens Natals se réveilleraient au lever du soleil et répètent leur chant maintes et maintes fois. Ils ont répété ce chant puissant principalement pour trois raisons très importantes :

 1. Pour garantir que leurs récoltes sont abondantes et les gardera et leurs familles ont nourri toute l'année ;

 2. Pour éviter le mal/mal ;

3. Et gagner la grande sagesse. Il va comme ceci :

 Oooooh waaaaah (la pause)

 Taaaaa foooooo (la pause)

aaaammmm de Mensonge (la pause)

 le répète Maintenant sans la pause. Comme vous le répétez plus souvent et plus rapidement, son message s'éclaircit et vous deviendrez sage ! L'essayer. Il travaille très bien et très rapidement ! !

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50°F - New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. Canadians plant gardens.

40°F - Californians shiver uncontrollably. Canadians sunbathe.

35°F - Italian cars won't start. Canadians drive with the windows down.

32°F - Distilled water freezes. Canadian water gets thicker.

20°F - Floridians wear coats, gloves & wool hats. Canadians throw on a t-shirt.

15°F - Californians begin to evacuate the state. Canadians go swimming.

0°F - New York landlords finally turn up the heat. Canadians have the last cook-out before it gets cold.

-10°F - People in Miami cease to exist. Canadians lick flag poles to see if their tongue will stick.

-20°F - Californians fly away to Mexico. Canadians throw on a light jacket.

-40°F - Hollywood disintegrates. Canadians rent some videos.

-60°F - Mt. St. Helens freezes. Canadian Girl Guides begin selling cookies door to door.

-80°F - Polar bears begin to evacuate Antarctica. Canadian Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.

-100°F - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Canadians pull down their ear flaps.

-173°F - Ethyl alcohol freezes. Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.

-297°F - Microbial life survives on dairy products. Canadian cows complain of farmers with cold hands.

-460°F - ALL atomic motion stops. Canadians start saying "Cold 'nuff for ya?"

-500°F - Hell freezes over. The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup.

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An elderly woman lived on a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota border. Their land had been the subject of a minor dispute between the United States and Canada for years. The widowed woman lived on the farm with her son and three grandchildren.

One day, her son came into her room holding a letter. "I just got some news, Mom," he said. "The government has come to an agreement with the people in North Dakota. They've decided that our land is really part of the United States. We have the right to approve or disapprove of the agreement. What do you think?"

"What do I think?" his mother said. "Sign it! Call them right now and tell them we accept! I don't think I can stand another Canadian winter!"

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A guy sitting was at an airport bar and noticed a beautiful woman sitting next to him. He thought to himself, Wow, she is so gorgeous, she must be a flight attendant.

So he decides to scoot towards her and try to pick her up, but couldn't think of a pick up line.

After thinking for a while, he turns towards her and says, "Love to fly and it shows?"

She gives him a blank, confused stare and he immediately thinks to himself, Oh crap, she mustn't fly for Delta.

So he thinks of something else and says, "Something special in the air?"

She gives him the same confused look. He thinks, Damn! She must not fly for American.

So next he says, "I would really love to fly your friendly skies."

When suddenly the woman, irritated beyond belief with this guy, barks out, "Man, what the hell do you want?"

The man in a relieved voice says "Ahhh, Air Canada."

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An Englishman, a Canadian and an American were captured by terrorists.

The terrorist leader said: "Before we shoot you, you will be allowed last words. Please let me know what you wish to talk about."

The Englishman replied: "I wish to speak of loyalty and service to the crown."

The Canadian replied: "Since you are involved in a question of national purpose, national identity, and secession, I wish to talk about the history of constitutional process in Canada, special status, distinct society and uniqueness within diversity."

The American replied: "Just shoot me before the Canadian starts talking."

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A Scotsman was visiting a museum of natural history in Canada when he came upon a huge stuffed bull moose with enormous antlers.

Surprised, he exclaimed in his Scottish burr, "Woots that!?"

When told by the curator that is was a moose, he replied, "If that's a moose, I'd hate to see your caats!"

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So, what do Canadians have to be proud of?

1. Smarties

2. Crispy Crunch & Coffee Crisp

3. The size of our football fields and one less down

4. Baseball is Canadian

5. Lacrosse is Canadian

6. Hockey is Canadian

7. Basketball is Canadian

8. Apple pie is Canadian

9. Mr. Dress-up kicks Mr. Rogers' ass

10. Tim Horton’s kicks Dunkin' Donuts' ass

11. In the war of 1812, started by America, Canadians pushed the Americans back...past their 'White House'. Then we burned it...and most of Washington, under the command of William Lyon McKenzie who was insane and hammered all the time. We got bored because they ran away, so we came home and partied ... Go figure...

12. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany.

13. We have the largest English population that never, ever surrendered or withdrew during any war to anyone, anywhere.

14. Our civil war was a bar fight that lasted a little over an hour.

15. The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American mercenary, who slept in and missed the whole thing... but showed up just in time to get caught.

16. We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on.

17. The Hudsons Bay Company once owned over 10% of the earth's surface and is still around as the world's oldest company.

18. The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes.

19. We still know what to do with all the parts of a buffalo.

20. We don't marry our kin-folk.

21. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, velcro, zippers, insulin, penicillin, zambonis, the telephone and short wave radios that save countless lives each year.

22. We ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal and lived to tell about it.

BUT MOST IMPORTANT!

23. ....the handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your hands with mitts on.

------------------------------

OOOOoohhhhh Canada!!

Oh yeah... and our elections only take one day.

A Canadian is someone who drinks Brazilian coffee from an English teacup and munches a French pastry while sitting on their Danish furniture having just come home from an Italian movie in their German car.

He/She picks up their Japanese pen and writes to their Member of Parliament to complain about the American  take-over of the Canadian publishing business.

---------------------------

The Spanish Conquistadores were making a map of their colonies (they owned all of America, South and North). They started drawing in the lines from down south - territory they knew well - and worked their way up.

Everything was going fine until they got to the New York area. "Hey, what's up there?" the map maker asked the governor, pointing to the vast emptiness above the Great Lakes.

The governor answered: "Here? (in Spanish: "Aca?"). Nothing (in Spanish: "Nada").

Hence the great blank emptiness became known as ACA-NADA, or in English, "There ain't nothin' here."

Which, as anyone who has lived in Canada will testify, is pretty darned close to the truth. Eh?

--------------------------------

There once was an Ontarian who's life long dream it was to be a Newfie. One day, the man finally got the guts to go and see his doctor about it. The doctor examined him and gave him the prognosis, "Well, if you really want to be a Newfie there is a surgery I can perform, but I have to remove 1/3 of your brain." The Ontarian was so excited, he agreed to do it right away.

During the surgery however, the doctor's hand slipped. The doctor was so upset that he sat next to the man in the recovery room until he woke up. Finally the Ontarian woke up. The doctor immediately explain what happened, and told the Ontarian, "I am so sorry sir, my hand slipped during the surgery and I accidentally cut out 2/3 of your brain instead of 1/3."

The Ontarian looked confused and replied "Que ce que vous dit monsuier?"

--------------------------------

An American is at a restaurant one morning having his coffee and a croissant with jam, when a Canadian man, chewing gum, sits down next to him. The American ignores the Canadian who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

Canadian: "Do you Americans eat the whole bread, eh?"

American): "Of course we do."

Canadian: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In Canada, we only eat what's inside, eh. The crusts are collected in a container, recycled into croissants, and sold to America, eh."

The Canadian has a smirk on his face. The American listens in silence.

The Canadian persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread, eh?"

American: "Of Course we do."

Canadian: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling). "We don't, eh. In Canada we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to America, eh."

The American then asks: "Do you have sex in Canada?"

Canadian: "Why of course we do, eh", the Canadian says with a big smirk on his face.

American: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

Canadian: "We throw them away, eh."

American: "We don't. In America, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell it to Canada."

-----------------------------

A Canadian and an American were hunting in Canadian woods when an Indian runs across the field and the Canadian shoots him in the back and kills him. "You can't do that!" cried the American. "No, no, it's legal here in Canada" replies the Canadian.

Later that night the American goes and buys some beer and puts it on the roof of his truck to open the door. Just then an Indian runs by, grabs the beer, and runs away. The American thinks "No problem" and he shoots him in the back and kills him. As he is getting his beer the police come and arrest him. "But I thought it was legal to shoot Indians here in Canada!" protests the American.

"Well yeah," says the cop, "but you can't use bait."

-------------------------

Dear Diary:

Aug. 12 - Moved to our new home in Canada. I am so excited. It's so beautiful here. The mountains are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see them with snow covering them.

Oct. 14 - Canada... it is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have turned all colours and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the beautiful countryside and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animals on earth. This must be paradise. I love it here!

Nov. 11 - Remembrance Day. Deer season starts soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it snows soon. I love it here!

Dec. 2 - It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shovelled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won). When the snow plough came by we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. I love Canada!

Dec. 12 - More snow last night. The snow plough did his trick again to the driveway. I love it here.

Dec. 19 - More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work. It's beautiful here but I'm exhausted from shovelling. Blasted snow plough.

Dec. 22 - More of that white muck fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands and a sore back from shovelling. I think the snow plough hides around the corner until I'm done shovelling the driveway. Asshole.

Dec. 25 - Merry Blasted Christmas! More frigging snow. If I ever get my hands on the sonovabitch who drives the snow plough, I swear I'll kill the bastard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt the blasted ice.

Dec. 27 - More white muck last night. Been inside for three days now except for shovelling out the driveway after that snow plough goes through every time. Can't go anywhere, the car's stuck in a mountain of white muck and it's so frigging cold. The weatherman says to expect another 10 inches of the muck again tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10 inches is?

Dec. 28 - That blasted weatherman was wrong. We got 34 inches of the muck this time. At this rate it won't melt before summer. The snow plough got stuck up in the road and that bastard came to my door and asked to borrow my shovel. After I told him that I had already broken six shovels shovelling out all the muck he had pushed into my driveway, I damn near broke my last one over his blasted head.

Jan. 4 - Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on my way back a damned deer ran in front of the car. Did about $3,000 damage to the car. Those blasted beasts should be killed. The bastards are everywhere. Wish the hunters had exterminated them all last November.

May 3 - Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing is rusted out from all that blasted salt they put all over the roads.

May 10 - Moved to Florida. I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever want to live in such a God forsaken place as Canada!

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A Texan, a Canadian, and a guy from Buffalo are out riding horses. The Texan pulls out an expensive bottle of whiskey, takes a shot, then another, and suddenly throws the bottle in the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the bottle in mid air.

The Canadian looks at him and says, "What are you doing?! That was a perfectly good bottle of whiskey!"

The Texan says, "In Texas, there's plenty of whiskey and bottles are cheap."

A while later, not wanting to be outdone the Canadian pulls out a bottle of champagne, takes a few sips, throws the bottle in the air, pulls out his gun and shoots it.

The guy from Buffalo can't believe this and says, "What did you do that for? that was an expensive bottle of Champagne!"

The Canadian says "In Canada there's plenty of Champagne and bottles are cheap."

So a while later the guy from Buffalo pulls out a bottle of beer. He opens it, takes a sip, takes another sip, and then chugs the rest. He then puts the bottle back in his saddlebag, pulls out his gun, turns around and shoots the Canadian.

The Texan, shocked, says, "Why did you do that!"

The guy from Buffalo says, "Well, in Buffalo, we have plenty of Canadians, but bottles are worth a nickel."

---------------------------

An American and his wife were driving in Canada and got lost. Finally they cane into some city. They saw a gentleman on the sidewalk, so the gentleman pulled up to the curb, and the lady let down her window and asked: "Excuse me, sir. Where are we?"

The gentleman on the street replied, "Saskatoon, Saskatchewan."

The lady rolled up the window, turned to her husband and said, "We really are lost. They don't even speak English here!"

-----------------------------

Have you ever heard anyone say "Canadians are just like Americans. What's the difference?" Here's a few of the more subtle answers. The Brits are included as a control group.

*Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
*Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.
*Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.

*Americans: Care very deeply about civil rights & preserving them; to extreme degrees in some cases.
*Brits: More concerned about an orderly society than a free one.
*Canadians: Couldn't care less about these things, especially when they "have nothing to hide".

*Americans: Believe that people should look out for & take care of themselves.
*Brits: Believes everyone should act according to their place in the social structure.
*Canadians: Believe that that's the government's job.

*Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness.
*Brits: Still haven't gotten over the fact that their Empire is so diminished, although most of the time, it doesn't show.
*Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem -- when they can be bothered to sing them, that is.

*Americans: Are deeply religious, or make a strong point of posturing as such.
*Brits: Celebrate the fact that they have an "official" religion.
*Canadians: Are somewhat less religious, and keep it to themselves.

*Americans: Believe rudeness is the most efficient of travel manners.
*Brits: Stiff upper lip -- often mistaken for coolness.
*Canadians: Do their best to be polite to others.

*Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box (computer or TV).
*Brits: Only have two channels, both of which are very boring.
*Canadians: Don't watch much TV but only because they can't get more American channels.

*Americans: Love to watch sports on the idiot box.
*Brits: Love to watch sports in stadiums so they can fight with other fans.
*Canadians: Prefer to actually engage in sports rather than watch them.

*Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball, and basketball.
*Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer, and rugby.
*Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans once, playing baseball.

*Americans: Are loud, boisterous, obnoxious as tourists.
*Brits: Are very conservative tourists, especially with a pound.
*Canadians: Are polite, low-profile, sensitive (perhaps even timid) tourists.

*Americans: Spell words differently, but still call it "English".
*Brits: Pronounce their words differently, but still call it "English".
*Canadians: Spell English words like the Brits, but pronounce them like Parisians.

*Americans: Are afraid to walk the street of their large cities at night.
*Brits: Sensibly stay home at night instead of going out.
*Canadians: Don't have all that many large cities to walk in anyway.

*Americans: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backward country.
*Brits: Are suspect of all imported goods.
*Canadians: Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backward country.

*Americans: Tend to think that guns are very cool, and fun too.
*Brits: Since not even the police are armed, what more can one say.
*Canadians: Aren't quite sure how they work. Safer and easier to make them illegal.

*Americans: Think that poverty & failure are morally suspect.
*Brits: Believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure are inherited.
*Canadians: Believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.

*Americans: Are awed by wealth and success.
*Brits: Cannot be awed by anything.
*Canadians: Are awed by correctness and mediocrity.

*Americans: Encourage immigrants to assimilate quickly, and dump their old ways.
*Brits: Encourage immigrants to go to Canada or America.
*Canadians: Encourage immigrants to keep their old ways, and avoid assimilation.

*Americans: Are disliked everywhere in the world, with the exception of Canada.
*Brits: Are misunderstood everywhere.
*Canadians: Are tolerated everywhere in the world; frequently even liked -- with the exception of America, Somalia, and places where the Airborne have been.

*Americans: Don't want to endure any unpleasant weather anywhere.
*Brits: Endure oppressively wet & dreary winters, and are proud of it.
*Canadians: Endure bitterly cold winters, and are proud of it.

*Americans: Think that all great comedians are American.
*Brits: Have produced many great comedians, but Americans ignore them because they don't understand subtle humour.
*Canadians: Have produced many great comedians, like John Candy, Martin Short, Lorne Michaels, Jim Carrey, Michael O'Donohue and Dan Akroyd.

*Americans: Are obsessed with the President, his family, and his sex life.
*Brits: Are obsessed with the Queen, and royal family peccadillos.
*Canadians: Would gladly settle for Prince Charles having an affair with a Canadian girl .

*Americans: Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their citizens.
*Brits: Remind Americans and Canadians that they all got their start in the Mother Country.
*Canadians: Prattle on about how some of those great Americans were actually Canadian.

-------------------------

This is the transcript of the actual radio conversation of a U.S. Naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland.

Canadian: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the captain of a U.S. Navy ship. I say again, divert your course.

Canadians: No. I say again, you divert your course.

Americans: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that you change your course 15 degrees north, I say again, that's one five degrees north, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

-------------------------------

A newcomer to Seattle arrives on a rainy day.

She gets up the next day and it's raining.

It also rains the day after that, and the day after that.

She goes out to lunch and sees a young kid and, out of despair asks, "Hey,
kid, does it ever stop raining around here?"

The boy says, "How should I know? I'm only 6!"

---------------------------------

Three Canadians and three Americans are travelling by train to a hockey game. At the station, the three Americans each buy tickets and watch as the three Canadians buy only a single ticket. "How are you three guys going to travel on only one ticket?" asks one American. "Watch and you'll see" answers one of the Canadians.

They all board the train. The Americans take their respective seats but all three Canadians cram into a bathroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets.

He knocks on the bathroom door and says " Ticket please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Americans see this and agree it was quite a clever idea. So after the game, they decide to copy the Canadian's trick on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that).

When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Canadians don't buy any tickets at all! "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed American. "Watch and you'll see" answers a Canadian.

When they board the train the three Americans cram into one bathroom and the three Canadians cram into another bathroom nearby. Once the train leaves the station, one of the Canadians leaves their bathroom and walks over to the bathroom where the Americans are hiding, knocks on the door, and says "Tickets, please!"

------------------------------------

Three expectant fathers, an American, a Jamaican, and a Canadian, were in the hospital waiting room. A doctor comes in and announces that he has some good news and some bad news, "The good news is that you each are the father of a healthy baby boy. The bad news is that we've mixed them up." The three new fathers walk into the nursery. The American guy goes right to the Jamaican baby, picks him up and starts rocking him. "What are you doing?" the Jamaican guy asks, "That is obviously my son."

"I know," said the American guy, "but I didn't want to accidentally get the Canadian kid."

----------------------

In a train car there were a Canadian, an American, a spectacular looking blonde and a frightfully awful looking fat lady. After several minutes of the trip the train happens to pass through a dark tunnel, and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard. When they leave the tunnel, the American had a big red slap mark on his cheek.

The blonde thought - "That American son of a bitch wanted to touch me and by mistake, he must have put his hand on the fat lady, who in turn must have slapped his face."

The fat lady thought - "This dirty old American laid his hands on the blonde and she smacked him".

The American thought - "That bastard Canadian put his hand on that blonde and by mistake she slapped me".

The Canadian thought - "I hope there's another tunnel soon so I can smack that stupid American again".

------------------------------

An American, a Scot and a Canadian were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened.

"Well," said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and that for a donation of $50, we could return to the earth.

So of course I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $50, and the next thing I knew I was back here."

"That's amazing!" said one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?"

"Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scot was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay for his."

---------------------------

You know you're a Canadian when...

01. You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines.

02. You're not offended by the term, "Homo Milk".

03. You understand the sentence, "Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine".

04. You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars.

05. You drink pop, not soda.

06. You know what it means to be on pogey.

07. You know that a mickey and 2-4's mean, "Party at the camp, eh!"

08. You can drink legally while still a 'teen.

09. You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike.

10. You don't know or care about the fuss with Cuba; it's just a cheap place to travel with good cigars and no Americans.

11. When there is a social problem, you turn to your government to fix it instead of telling them to stay out of it.

13. You get milk in bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.

14. Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway.

15. You drive on a highway, not a freeway.

16. You know what a Robertson screwdriver is.

17. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.

18. You know that Thrills are something to chew and "taste like soap".

19. You know that Mounties "don't always look like that".

20. You dismiss all beers under 6% as "for children and the elderly".

21. You know that the Friendly Giant isn't a vegetable product line.

22. You know that Casey and Finnegan are not a Celtic musical group.

23. You participated in "Participaction".

24. You have an Inuit carving by your bedside with the rationale, "What's good enough protection for the Prime Minister is good enough for me".

25. You wonder why there isn't a 5-dollar coin yet.

26. Unlike any international assassin/terrorist/spy in the world, you don't possess a Canadian passport.

27. You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing 'u's from labor, honor, and color.

28. You know the French equivalents of "free", "prize", and "no sugar added", thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.

29. You are excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.

30. You make a mental note to talk about it at work the next day.

31. You can do all the hand actions to Sharon, Lois and Bram's "Skin-a-ma-rinky-dinky-doo" opus.

32. You can eat more than one maple sugar candy without feeling nauseous.

33. You were mad when "The Beachcombers" were taken off the air.

34. You know what a toque is.

35. You have some memento of Doug and Bob.

36. You know Toronto is not a province.

37. You never miss "Coaches Corner" [We Bostonians know all about Grapes too :-) ].

38. Back bacon and Kraft Dinner are two of your favourite food groups.

39. You use "elastics", not rubber bands.

40. Your "SO-rry", not sawry.

41. Your Mother is your Mum, not your Mom.

42. You know the words of "The Star Spangled Banner" from all the hockey games you've watched on TV.

43. You see "Dunh da Dunh da Daaah" and immediately think of the "Hockey Night in Canada" anthem.

44. You honestly believe Smarties are better than M&M's, and can taste the difference.