STOP
HATING ONLINE- MACKAY KEPT HIS PROMISE
EVER MONTH IBULLY AWARENESS MONTH
u are a child of the universe - desiderata
Mitchell
What is Bullying?
Many children have a good idea of what bullying is because they see it every day! Bullying happens when someone hurts or scares another person on purpose and the person being bullied has a hard time defending themselves. So, everyone needs to get involved to help stop it.Bullying is wrong! It is behaviour that makes the person being bullied feel afraid or uncomfortable. There are many ways that young people bully each other, even if they don't realize it at the time. Some of these include:
Punching, shoving and other acts that hurt people physically
Spreading bad rumours about people
Keeping certain people out of a group
Teasing people in a mean way
Getting certain people to "gang up" on others
The four most common types of bullying are:
Verbal bullying - name-calling, sarcasm, teasing, spreading rumours, threatening, making negative references to one's culture, ethnicity, race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation, unwanted sexual comments.
Social Bullying - mobbing, scapegoating, excluding others from a group, humiliating others with public gestures or graffiti intended to put others down.
Physical Bullying - hitting, poking, pinching, chasing, shoving, coercing, destroying or stealing belongings, unwanted sexual touching.
Cyber Bullying - using the internet or text messaging to intimidate, put-down, spread rumours or make fun of someone.
What are the effects of bullying?
Bullying makes people upset. It can make children feel lonely, unhappy and frightened. It can make them feel unsafe and think there must be something wrong with them. Children can lose confidence and may not want to go to school anymore. It may even make them sick.
Some people think bullying is just part of growing up and a way for young people to learn to stick up for themselves. But bullying can have long-term physical and psychological consequences. Some of these include:
Withdrawal from family and school activities, wanting to be left alone.
Shyness
Stomachaches
Headaches
Panic Attacks
Not being able to sleep
Sleeping too much
Being exhausted
Nightmares
If bullying isn't stopped, it also hurts the bystanders, as well as the person who bullies others. Bystanders are afraid they could be the next victim. Even if they feel badly for the person being bullied, they avoid getting involved in order to protect themselves or because they aren't sure what to do.
Children who learn they can get away with violence and aggression continue to do so in adulthood. They have a higher chance of getting involved in dating aggression, sexual harassment and criminal behaviour later in life.
Bullying can have an effect on learning
Stress and anxiety caused by bullying and harassment can make it more difficult for kids to learn. It can cause difficulty in concentration and decrease their ability to focus, which affects their ability to remember things they have learned.
Bullying can lead to more serious concerns
Bullying is painful and humiliating, and kids who are bullied feel embarrassed, battered and shamed. If the pain is not relieved, bullying can even lead to consideration of suicide or violent behaviour.
How common is bullying?
Approximately one in 10 children have bullied others and as many as 25% of children in grades four to six have been bullied. A 2004 study published in the medical Journal of Pediatrics found that about one in seven Canadian children aged 11 to 16 are victims of bullying. Studies have found bullying occurs once every seven minutes on the playground and once every 25 minutes in the classroom.
In the majority of cases, bullying stops within 10 seconds when peers intervene, or do not support the bullying behaviour.
Students are most vulnerable to bullying during transitions from elementary to junior high school, and from junior to senior high school.
There is a correlation between increased supervision and decreased bullying. Bullies stop when adults are around.
What are the myths about bullying?
Myth #1 - "Children have got to learn to stand up for themselves."
Reality - Children who get up the courage to complain about being bullied are saying they've tried and can't cope with the situation on their own. Treat their complaints as a call for help. In addition to offering support, it can be helpful to provide children with problem solving and assertiveness training to assist them in dealing with difficult situations.
Myth #2 - "Children should hit back - only harder."
Reality - This could cause serious harm. People who bully are often bigger and more powerful than their victims. This also gives children the idea that violence is a legitimate way to solve problems. Children learn how to bully by watching adults use their power for aggression. Adults have the opportunity to set a good example by teaching children how to solve problems by using their power in appropriate ways.
Myth #3 - "It builds character."
Reality - Children who are bullied repeatedly, have low self-esteem and do not trust others. Bullying damages a person's self-concept.
Myth #4 - "Sticks and stones can break your bones but words can never hurt you."
Reality - Scars left by name-calling can last a lifetime.
Myth #5 - "That's not bullying. They're just teasing."
Reality - Vicious taunting hurts and should be stopped.
Myth #6 - "There have always been bullies and there always will be."
Reality - By working together as parents, teachers and students we have the power to change things and create a better future for our children. As a leading expert, Shelley Hymel, says, "It takes a whole nation to change a culture". Let's work together to change attitudes about bullying. After all, bullying is not a discipline issue - it is a teaching moment.
Myth #7 - "Kids will be kids."
Reality - Bullying is a learned behaviour. Children may be imitating aggressive behaviour they have seen on television, in movies or at home. Research shows that 93% of video games reward violent behaviour. Additional findings show that 25% of boys aged 12 to 17 regularly visit gore and hate internet sites, but that media literacy classes decreased the boys' viewing of violence, as well as their acts of violence in the playground. It is important for adults to discuss violence in the media with youth, so they can learn how to keep it in context. There is a need to focus on changing attitudes toward violence.
http://www.bullyingcanada.ca/content/239900
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CANADA STEPS UP 2 YOUTH BULLYING.... AND THE MURDERS BY BULLYCIDES- r kids matter
Stop Hating Online video ad http://evpo.st/1fqet2G #respect #smartphonehttp://youtu.be/GoilNEV0XEI
CANADA: Stop Hating Online: MacKay Launches Anti-Cyberbullying Ad Campaign
'Stop Hating Online' TV ad
-----------
MacKay promises cyberbullying law
Justice Minister Peter MacKay says the Tories
will introduce new legislation in the fall to fight cyberbullying.
MacKay was at the Canadian Centre for Child
Protection in Winnipeg to make a donation to mark the birth of Prince George.
MacKay says the whole nation has been touched
by the death of a 15-year-old Saskatchewan boy who was apparently driven to
suicide because of bullying.
The teen’s mother, Kim Loik, says she wants to
see Ottawa bring in national anti-bullying legislation.
MacKay says she won’t have long to wait . (CP)
NOVA
SCOTIA
Top
court: Girl can anonymously sue for identities of cyberbullies
September
28 2012
BY PAUL
McLEOD Ottawa Bureau
OTTAWA —
Youths can hide their identity as they launch legal actions against
cyberbullies, the Supreme Court of Canada has ruled.
Specifically,
the 7-0 ruling allows a teenage girl from Nova Scotia to anonymously sue for the
identity of her online tormentors. The years-long case gained national
attention and had anti-bullying groups lining up against media and civil liberties
organizations.
In 2010,
a fake profile of the then 15-year-old girl appeared on Facebook. The profile
used a picture of the girl along with sexually explicit references and
insulting comments about the girl’s appearance.
Her
father launched a legal attempt on behalf of the girl to force Internet
provider Eastlink to hand over the IP address of the person who created the
profile.
The
girl’s lawyers requested a publication ban on the girl’s name and the contents
of the Facebook page.
The
Chronicle Herald objected. The paper did not plan to report the girl’s name but
argued granting the anonymous court action without proof of specific harm
would breach the open court principle.
Nova
Scotia Supreme Court sided with the paper, but on Thursday the Supreme Court of
Canada overturned that ruling.
The top
court ruled the “serious harm" of not protecting victims of cyberbullying
outweighed the “minimal harm" of infringing on press freedom.
The
court ruled the girl can pursue her legal challenge anonymously. However, it
also ruled against putting a publication ban on parts of the fake Facebook
profile that do not identify the girl.
“The
critical importance of the open court principle and a free press has been
tenaciously embedded in the jurisprudence," says the ruling.
“In this
case, however, there are interests that are sufficiently compelling to justify
restricting such access: privacy and the protection of children from cyberbullying."
The
court’s ruling opens up the door to more anonymous lawsuits as long as a youth
is involved, said lawyer Ryder Gilliland of Toronto’s Blake, Cassels &
Graydon LLP.
Gilliland
represented several interveners in the case, such as Newspapers Canada, the
Canadian
Association of Journalists and the Professional Writers Association of Canada.
Until
this ruling, people had to prove they needed anonymity or they would face
repercussions.
Gilliland
said he is troubled that courts can now grant anonymity without evidence of a
threat as long as the appellant is a minor.
“I’m
just disappointed at the ease at which the court was able to get around the
lack of an evidentiary foundation,” he said. “It certainly points in the
direction of us seeing more (anonymous lawsuits).”
The top
court ruled the girl did not need to demonstrate specific evidence of harm
because it is logical to infer youths may shy away from defending themselves
for fear of further bullying, and this in itself causes further harm. The
decision provides a clear statement from the court that children are inherently
vulnerable, especially to sexually charged online bullying, and deserve to be
protected by the legal system, lawyers for the girl’s family said Thursday.
“When
balancing that against the media’s right to access and the media’s right to
report on proceedings, it certainly weighs in favour of protecting the identity
of the child,” said co-counsel Jane O’Neill.
The
teen’s lawyers had argued that without being able to proceed anonymously,
victims of cyberbullying will be afraid to proceed with lawsuits against their
harassers.
The
court agreed there was a risk that bullied children would not take legal steps
to protect themselves unless they could do it anonymously.
The
“inherent vulnerability of children” allows them to be given special privileges
in the law, said the court.
“Studies
have confirmed that allowing the names of child victims and other identifying
information to appear in the media can exacerbate trauma, complicate recovery,
discourage future disclosures and inhibit co-operation with authorities,” says
the ruling.
“If we
value the right of children to protect themselves from bullying, cyber or
otherwise, common sense and the evidence persuade us that young victims of
sexualized bullying are particularly vulnerable to the harms of revictimization
upon publication.”
However,
the court found that with the girl’s identity protected, there was no reason to
ban publication of the non-identifying parts of the Facebook profile.
This was
a big win for the British Columbia Civil Liberties Association. The group took
no position on the anonymity aspect but argued against putting a publication
ban on the offending comments.
The
association was “particularly concerned with the idea that the court would be
declaring certain words defamatory and then not telling people what they were,”
said Marko Vesely of the law firm Lawson Lundell in Vancouver, who represented
the group.
Vesely
said granting this ban would hinder people from being able to follow the law
and also prevent scrutiny of whether the court was striking the right balance
for freedom of speech.
With The
Canadian Press (pmcleod@herald.ca)
------------------------------
STANDING
UP TO BULLIES FOR KIDS, TWEENS AND TEENS- SHOULD NOT BE SO DAMM HARD...
Top
court protects anonymity of N.S. teen in Facebook case
September
27, 2012 - 11:32am By PAUL McLEOD Ottawa Bureau
The
Supreme Court of Canada has allowed a Nova Scotia girl remain anonymous while
pursuing legal action against her cyberbullies.
Through
her father, the teenaged girl had tried to compel Eastlink to hand over
information about who had created a hateful Facebook profile that mocked her.
The
Facebook profile used a picture of the girl, a slightly modified version of her
name, and insults about the girl’s appearance and sexual behaviour.
The girl
wanted to pursue her legal challenge anonymously as well as have a publication
ban placed on the contents of the Facebook profile.
The
Chronicle Herald and Global Television, while not planning on reporting the
girl’s name, had argued allowing the anonymous court action to go ahead without
specific proof of harm would be an affront to the open court principle.
The
Supreme Court today ruled the girl can pursue her legal challenge anonymously.
However, it also removed a publication ban on parts of the fake Facebook
profile that do not identify the girl.
“The
critical importance of the open court principle and a free press has been
tenaciously embedded in the jurisprudence,” says the ruling.
“In this
case, however, there are interests that are sufficiently compelling to justify
restricting such access: privacy and the protection of children from
cyberbullying.”
The
teen’s lawyers argued that without being able to proceed anonymously, victims of
cyberbullying will be afraid to proceed with lawsuits against their harassers.
The
court was eventually compelled that bullied children would not take legal steps
to protect themselves unless they could do it anonymously.
“Studies
have confirmed that allowing the names of child victims and other identifying
information to appear in the media can exacerbate trauma, complicate recovery,
discourage future disclosures, and inhibit cooperation with authorities,” says
the ruling.
“If we
value the right of children to protect themselves from bullying, cyber or
otherwise, if common sense and the evidence persuade us that young victims of
sexualized bullying are particularly vulnerable to the harms of revictimization
upon publication.”
However,
the court found that with the girl’s identity protected there was no reason to
ban publication of the non-identifying parts of the Facebook profile.
(pmcleod@herald.ca)
---------------------
How one
town’s nasty homecoming prank became an anti-bullying lesson
Updated
Wed Sep 26, 2012
How one
town’s nasty homecoming prank became an anti-bullying lesson
Published
on Wednesday September 26, 2012
Share on
twitter Share on facebook
thestar.com
WEST
BRANCH, MICH. — The high school girl at the centre of a homecoming humiliation
turned international anti-bullying lesson believes her ordeal is a turning
point for her town.
“I think
this will make a difference to students who are being bullied,” Whitney Kropp
says in a YouTube video. “People need to pay attention to this.”
Kropp,
16, zoomed from joy to despair and shame after she found out her nomination to
the Ogemaw Heights High School homecoming court was done as a joke because she
was so unpopular.
Then her
small town of West Branch, Mich., rallied to her defence:
A
Facebook page created by local resident Jamie Kline has collected 82,000
supporters and hundreds of messages from around the world.
Local
businesses in the town 200 kilometres north of Detroit have pitched in with a
prom dress and shoes, a hair stylist and manicure and a dinner for the dance
Saturday night.
Now,
says Kropp, the popular football player who was the other Grade 10
representative to the homecoming court, and who originally dropped out when her
nomination was revealed as a joke, has changed his mind.
Josh
Awrey, a star athlete, “said he’s going to stay in the court,” she said. “I
talked to him personally. He should not be blamed for anything.”
She had
been bullied for years, she told the Today show, because she was “different.”
But the homecoming “prank” made her feel like she was “being kicked around like
a piece of trash.”
Whitney’s
mother Bernice Kropp said the town’s support has helped fix what could have
destroyed her daughter.
“This
was something that was really awful, could have ended awful, and because so
many people came together, it just turned right around,” she told the Detroit
Free Press.
It was
Bernice Kropp who persuaded Whitney to stand up to her tormentors and go to the
homecoming game and dance.
“It
takes a lot of guts, but she’s going to do it,” she told Today.
“I’m
excited to go because I can prove everyone wrong and say, ‘I’m not this joke
that you thought of,’” Whitney Kropp told Today
Kropp
made her YouTube video with the help of friend Donny Winter, who himself had
posted a video earlier vilifying her attackers.
“To
these individuals who thought that it was funny to humiliate her: How dare you?
I am ashamed that my community would do this,” said Winter, who said he was
bullied “almost daily” during his four years at the same high school.
“Bullying
is a learned behaviour,” said Winter. “These students’ parents should feel just
as ashamed.”
------------------------
Bullying
Prevention Awareness Month (October 2012)
Again
(Made by Canadian students for Canadian students) we give u an A Plus
De
nouveau (Fait par des étudiants canadiens pour des étudiants canadiens) nous
donnons u Un un Plus
L'Intimidation
Psychologique (Anti-Bullying Commercial)
I Know
Someone
This
video was created by me for my school's Anti-Bullying assembly. Our assembly
was the day before the big No Trojan Left Behind assembly. This video is all
about kids helping each other and not just standing by and doing nothing. This
video, I hope, will encourage kids to step up and do something, even if it is
something small. They could make a huge difference, even if they don't know it.
For
Courtney and Jenna of Nova Scotia- Jamie of Ottawa, Amanda, and so many
others.... many with disabilities- bullied simply because they were
different- imagine... children, teens
and tweens and youngbloods..... how cruel is that message in Canada!
--------------------------
Bullying
film by Ont. students hits Times Square- BULLYING
Pull the
Plug on Bullying
NOVA
SCOTIA: When words can kill
10/2012
In
support of Bullying Prevention Awareness Month, the National Child Traumatic
Stress Network (NCTSN) is providing resources for families, teens, educators, clinicians,
mental health professionals, and law enforcement personnel on how to recognize,
deal with, and prevent bullying.
Bullying
can be verbal, physical, or via the Internet. It can severely affect the
victim's self-image, social interactions, and school performance?often leading
to insecurity, lack of self-esteem, and depression in adulthood. School dropout
rates and absences among victims of bullying are much higher than among other
students.
Studies
have shown that children who have been identified as a bully by age eight are
six times more likely to have a criminal conviction by age 24. Children who are
bullies may continue to be bullies as adults, and are more prone to becoming
child and spouse abusers.
The
following resources provide information regarding bullying and bullying
prevention for families and their communities.
------------------------
ATLANTIC
CANADA- STANDING UP TO BULLYING- Let's git r done
Halifax
Regional Police-Beware the Bully!
Published on September 18, 2012
It
didn't take long for bullying to rear its ugly head this school year. In just
the first few weeks, school officers have already seen the effects of bullying
and are dealing with the bullies, the bullied, parents and teachers. It's
important for parents to be well versed in the issue of bullying and what to do
about it.
How can
you tell if your child is being bullied? Be concerned if your child...
Is
frightened of walking to/from school, is unwilling to go to school, begs to be
driven to school or changes his/her walking route.
Begins
to do poorly in school.
Comes
home regularly with belongings destroyed or missing.
Has
unexplained cuts or bruises, stops eating or begins to have nightmares.
Becomes
withdrawn, distressed or suicidal.
What can
you do if your child is being bullied?
Listen
and be supportive - take bullying seriously!
Reassure
your child that it isn't his/her fault.
Ask how
they've been dealing with it.
Talk
about what actions you can both take to solve the problem.
Promise
to consult your child before taking any action.
Talk to
school administrators and ask what they can do to help.
Suggest
the school contact the bully's parents.
Ask that
bullies be kept after school until other children have left.
Encourage
the school to develop a "no bullying" policy, if they don't already
have one.
Contact
your School Officer, or contact the Bully Hotline by texting 233-SAVE (7283),
emailing bullyhotline@halifax.ca or calling 490-SAVE (7283) for help.
How can
you help your child deal with bullying?
Ask your
child to try to ignore the bully, tell the bully to stop and then walk away if
bullying starts.
Encourage
your child to tell a trusted adult - explain this isn't ‘squealing' - your
child has a right to be safe.
Help
your child develop a list of trusted adults they can phone or go to for help.
Arrange
to meet your child if the bullying is happening on the way to/from school.
Monitor
their social media usage.
What can
you do if your child is bullying?
Stay
calm.
Don't
bully or hit your child - it will make the situation worse.
Try to
find out why your child is behaving this way.
Explain
that bullying is wrong and try to get your child to understand what it's like
for the victim.
Talk
about how your child might stop bullying and show them how to get along with
others without bullying.
Praise
your child when he/she interacts appropriately with others.
Monitor
your child's social media use and explain that threats made on-line are serious
and can constitute a criminal offence.
Set
realistic, firm guidelines to help your child control behaviour.
Talk
with a teacher, guidance counsellor or principal at your child's school.
Model
non-violent behaviour at home. If appropriate, consider an anger management
program for yourself and your child.
If the
situation is serious, enlist the help of a counsellor or psychologist.
Need
more info? Check out http://www.halifax.ca/Police/Programs/bullying.html
--------------
ATLANTIC
CANADA- TEACHING MILITARY KIDS HOW TO
HANDLE BULLYING
Welcome
to Halifax & Region Military Family Resource Centre
Find out
what is happening at the MFRC – click on this link for our monthly calendar of
activities and events. New programs are added regularly.
You
could be a winner – check out our latest Extravaganza draw winners here
Over the
last few weeks we have been experiencing some technical issues when sending our
eNews. We are currently in the process of resolving this so we can continue to
share our awesome upcoming programs and services with you. Thank you for your
patience. To view the latest edition of the H&R MFRC’s eNews click here: http://enews.halifaxmfrc.ca/2012/09/enews-september-20-2012/
Bullying
– What Parents and Children NEED to Know!
Best for parents with school-aged children
Halifax Site
Do you have school aged children? Are you
concerned about bullying and are looking for ways that you AND your child can
take responsibility and action for preventing bullying? Join us in this
practical workshop that looks at what bullying is, some bullying facts, and why
bullying can be hard to see. We will also look at who the bully, the bystander
and the victim are, as well as recommendations and strategies for bullying
prevention and addressing bullying when it occurs. We will also touch on the
newest form of bullying; cyber bullying and our children’s increasing time
spent in the digital world.
Monday, October 1, 6:30pm-8:30pm
Cost: $5/military family; $10/non-military
family (will be put on a wait list)
Childcare is available to military families at
an additional cost of $3/child or $6/per family/
Deadline to Register: Wednesday, September 26.
Call 427-7788 for more information and to register.
Toddler
Openings at Shearwater Children’s Centre
The Shearwater Children’s Centre has openings
for September 2012 for toddlers ages 18 months to 2.5 years. The Centre’s goal
is to provide for the health and social well-being of children in our care;
providing a safe, nurturing and stimulating environment with the opportunities
for learning, socialization, and fun in a consistent environment.
Cost: $638/month
Hours of Operation: 6:30am to 6:00pm
For more information and to register, please
contact the Director at 902-720-2004.
The
H&R MFRC Entrepreneur Club will be showcasing their wares at the Halifax
Seaport Farmer’s Market one Sunday a month! Left to right: Leslie Savoie,
Halifax Seaport Farmer’s Market, Colleen Calvert, MFRC Executive Director,
Donna Rideout, Ashwurks Custom Kitchen Cabinets and Mike Dulude, MFRC Outreach
Services.
The
Mind’s the Matter
Click
here for a new series on dealing with a spouse with an Operational Stress
Injury
Click
here for a new series for teens with a parent with an Operational Stress Injury
---------------
Addressing
a Bullying Victim - Tips for Teachers
Bullying
is all too common in schools today. It is also a problem that should not be
taken lightly; bullying can have serious consequences. Children bully for many
reasons and sometimes it resolves itself and other times permanent damage can
be done to bullying victims. Because of the possibility of physical and
emotional injury, all cases of bullying must be taken seriously.
Teachers
are often the first adults to realize that bullying is occurring because they
can observe children interacting. Helping a bullying victim can be a sensitive
matter, but both bullies and bullying victims must be dealt with to ensure that
the bullying stops. If you are a teacher or caregiver, there are some tips you
can use to help a bullying victim.
You
should let the bullying victim know that you care about them and are concerned
about what is happening. At the same time, being overly sympathetic especially
in front of others can be counter productive. Do not try to discuss the problem
with a bullying victim until you are alone or not in the presence of any other
children. Ask that the bullying victim tell you exactly what is happening and
reassure them that their feelings are normal and that it is not their fault.
Let the bullying victim know that talking about their problem to your and their
parents will only help the situation and is the right thing to do. Give the
bullying victim tools and information to cope with and prevent further bullying
issues.
Talking
to the parents of the bullying victim is also important. Parents and teachers
working together is the best way to stop bullying and help a bullying victim.
You should also speak with the parents of the bully so that they can address
the problem at the cause. Explain what is happening in a non-confrontational
manner and dispel any misunderstandings about bullying that parents may have.
Many parents think that bullying is normal and is no big deal, but once they
know how serious it can be they will be more concerned.
You
should give parents tools and information to help them address bullying issues
with their child. Teachers play an important role in preventing and solving
bullying problems. Both the bullying victim and the bully should be counseled
on ways to deal with their problems to prevent bullying in the future.
Bullying
is a very common problem that children face, and eventually you will have to
deal with it head on. Remember that it is a touchy subject with most children
and they may be reluctant to talk about it. Because bullying can turn into a
serious problem, it should not be ignored. Do your best to reassure the
bullying victim and make the bully aware that their actions are not acceptable
and can have serious consequences. Parental involvement is also important and
can go a long way to solve the problem. Addressing both the bullying victim and
the bully in a timely fashion is the best way to curtail bullying in your
school.
------------------
Common
Misconceptions About Bullying
There
are many common misconceptions about bullying. Thinking that bullying is a
normal part of childhood and the victims should just toughen up is perhaps the
most stereotypical view of bullying and the biggest bullying misconception.
Thinking this way can have serious consequences for both victims and bullies.
Bullying should not be tolerated and letting a bully continue picking on others
just reinforces their behavior and sets them up to continue making poor choices
for the rest of their lives. Bullying victims can also suffer from low self
esteem, depression, and a poor self image.
Another
bullying misconception is that bullies have low self esteem. Many bullies are
popular and are very confident. Bullies are not the unconfident kids trying to
make up for their problems like people once assumed. Bullying may actually be a
way that kids try to dominate others and assert their power. Children who bully
often act in conjunction with their friends and use bullying as a way to fit in
with them. Children who have friends and like to be in control will bully
others as a way to assert their power and impress their fiends, albeit in the
wrong way.
Many
people also have the bullying misconception that bullying occurs only in lower
class neighborhoods and schools. This is not the case, and plenty of bullying
cases occur in high class neighborhoods and schools. Bullying can occur no
matter what socioeconomic class a child is in. Many upper-class schools have
bullying problems because children feel as though they are better than others and
try to show how much power they have over children they perceive as weaker than
them.
The
bullying misconception that boys are only kids that bully is also wrong. Boys
do bully more than girls, but girls can also be bullies. Bullying among boys is
often physical where girls tend to use emotional bullying by saying mean things
and spreading rumors to humiliate people. Bothe types of bullying can have
devastating effects on bullying victims and leave them with self esteem
problems and a lifetime of insecurity.
Another
bullying misconception is that bullying most commonly occurs in high school
rather than in younger children. Studies have shown that bullying occurs at all
ages but the most common ages are in middle school, not high school and
elementary. Children from 9-13 years old are the most likely ages to bully.
Children in this age group are just beginning to face stress in school and the
pressure to fit in, so bullying becomes a common way cope with these problems.
Many
people think that remarks made with bullying most commonly target intelligence
and are meant to demean a person. Studies suggest, however, that the most
common insults used while bullying are about a kid's perceived sexual
orientation. As ridiculous as it sounds, this is the most common thing kids
tease each other about. Finding socially unacceptable faults such as these make
some children easier targets for bullying. There are many bullying
misconceptions and truly understanding what bullying is will help to stop and
prevent it.
------------------
What To
Do If Your Child Is A Bully
Children
commonly tease each other and often times it is in good nature and has no
negative effects. However, when a child becomes a bully, they can seriously
injure children both physically and emotionally. It is important to stop
bullying before it escalates to the point that a child is hurt. Most people
think about stopping bullying by dealing with the victim, but what should you
do if your child is a bully?
There
are many different reasons why a child becomes a bully, some are not too
serious and can easily be overcome and others are serious issues that must be
dealt with for the well-being of both bully and victim. Children may bully
others because they have low self-esteem themselves, they want attention of are
trying to fit in with other kids that bully. They may experience abuse or
bullying themselves from other children or adults. No matter what the reason
is, if your child is a bully you should take the following actions.
You
should first discuss with your child what has been going on and get their side
of the story. Many times a child who is a bully is being bullied himself or is
facing other types of abuse. Always get your child's side of the story to
determine their motive behind being a bully. If your child is looking for
attention, trying to make friends, or has low self-esteem himself, you can
better help him cope with his problems if you find the underlying cause of what
is going on.
Let your
child know that bullying is a serious issue and will have negative consequences
if it continues. Schools do not tolerate bullying and eventually your child's
actions will catch up with him. Let him know that his behavior must stop or
there will be serious consequences. Many times a bully who is not stopped will
have lifelong problems with crime and drugs.
Talk to
your child's teacher or other school official who has or can witness your
child's bullying. Working together to stop your child's bullying will be more
effective than working alone. Discuss ways to work together to stop your child
from being a bully. Teachers are more than willing to help stop bullying as
schools take it very seriously.
If there
are other children involved with your child's bullying, talk to their parents.
Sometimes children act together as bullies and not all the parents may be aware
of it. Parents that act together will strengthen the message that being a bully
is not ok and have an easier time of stopping it.
Finally,
you should address the reason why your child is being a bully. If your child
wants attention, more friends, or just to fit in, give them ways to accomplish
this without bullying. If your child has other issues that may be more serious
like bipolar disorder or low self-esteem, seek professional help for the
well-being of your child. Giving your child positive ways to problem solve will
go a long way to stop their bullying.
--------------
UNITED
STATES MILITARY- KIDS HANDLE BULLYING
VIDEOS
Trevor
Romain Addresses Bullying with Military Children
Posted
on September 19, 2012 by The USO | 1 Comment
For some
children, “back to school” can mean back to bullies.
Bullying
is especially common for military children who, according to the Military Child
Education Coalition, move about six to nine times from kindergarten to twelfth
grade.
So
where’s the good news? Trevor Romain is setting out to help military children
in Europe identify and change bullying behavior! During his USO tour, Trevor
will also discuss how to recognize the signs that your child is being bullied
(or is bullying others), how to talk to your kids about bullying and ways
families can cope with this important issue together.
You can
hear Trevor’s thoughts about bullying behavior and how to handle it and how
Trevor discusses these problems with military children in his interview with
the Department of Defense Education Activity.
Bullying
Statistics
¦About 71 percent of students report bullying as
an on-going problem they face at school.
¦Over half of all students have witnessed a
bullying crime take place while at school.
¦A reported 15 percent of all students who
don’t show up for school report it to being out of fear of being bullied while
at school.
¦About one out of every 10 students drops out
or changes schools because of repeated bullying.
¦About 282,000 students are reportedly
attacked in high schools throughout the nation each month.
As a
nationally-recognized children’s motivational speaker and author, Trevor will
also share the USO’s With You All the Way program with military children.
Through a partnership between the USO and the Comfort Crew for Military Kids
and the Trevor Romain Company, this program focuses on helping children and
families cope with deployment, reintegration, and what happens when a parent
returns from combat with wounds, both seen and unseen.
People
often forget about the sacrifices and hardships that are unique for military
children. At the USO, we understand the difficulties military children endure
and we are so proud to partner with Trevor in our mission to support and
connect with our military children around the world.
Thank
you Trevor!
- Sarah
Camille Hipp, Communications Specialist
------------------
Bullying
(Part III): 10 Ways Your Ministry Can Help
by Kristin
Charles | Bullying | Print | Email
This
post continues our series on childhood bullying. Part one promoted bullying
awareness and part two offered ten ways individuals can get involved. This
article shows ten ways your kids ministry can address the topic.
Truth be
told, the subject of bullying is something that we have never had to address
before in our children’s ministry. I
have referenced it here or there in lessons, most often in a case study format,
but that was the extent.
One
month ago, a sixteen year old from our area committed suicide due to malicious
bullying. Her story has since received
widespread news coverage in an attempt to bring awareness to the issue. We did not know her personally, but we do
know her friends and the devastation that it caused, and is causing now.
My
husband has been addressing the issue among his junior high and high school
students. In speaking with them, we have
learned how rampant bullying is in schools (public, private and Christian), how
vicious it can be, and how young it can start.
It was then that we realized we had a responsibility to address the
issue with our elementary students also.
In the
first post on bullying, the magnitude of it was discussed, as well as its
definition, its effects on victims, and its warning signs. In the second post, intervention steps were
outlined. This post will identify
practical ways of addressing the subject in your children’s ministry with a
proactive stance.
1. Plan
for paired, small group, or team activities in your lessons: Many children who
are bullied are targeted because they lack close friendships, confidence,
and/or social skills. As you plan your
lessons, provide for many fun opportunities to work together. Consider pairing children up, having them
work in small groups, or in larger teams.
These chances for light hearted interaction give children the chance to
get to know each other and make friends.
2.
Provide opportunities for fellowship outside of the church: Develop a sense of
community with fun activities outside the church walls. Organize field trips and family events so
that children can build relationships and have a chance for socialization.
Plan
events such as bowling, ice cream socials, open gym night, hay rides, girls’
spa nights, pizza parties, progressive dinners, play dates at the park, game
nights, or trips to a zoo, children’s museum, or bounce house.
3.
Participate in community service projects: Bullying occurs because of man’s
inherent sin nature. Children act out
their aggression to circumstances with self centeredness and do not consider
the feelings of others. Consider
planning community service projects to allow children to see outside of
themselves.
Have
them help out at a food pantry or homeless shelter, organize boxes for
Operation Christmas Child, distribute food through Meals on Wheels, write
letters, color pictures, and pray for military personnel, support a child
through Compassion International, take them on a short term missions trip,
collect money for causes such as “Loose Chains to Loosen Chains”, or
participate in an athletic endeavor such as “Hoops of Hope.”
4. Allow
Literature to Spark a Dialogue: There are a number of great bullying resources
for students out there. Consider using
one of the following picture books to initiate a conversation or begin a
lesson. Such resources include: The Bully by Judith Casely, Lily’s Secret by
Imou Miko, Hooway for Wodney Wat by Helen Lester, Crickwing by Janell Cannon,
The Ant Bully by John Nickle, Emily Breaks Free by Linda Talley, and The
Berenstain Bears and the Gift of Courage by Jan and Mike Berenstain.
These
two chapter books can be utilized for older children: Nobody Knew What to Do: A Story about
Bullying by Becky Ray McCain and The Hundred Dresses by Eleanor Estes. Consider reading 1-2 chapters a week, prior
to a lesson on bullying or loaning these resources out.
5.
Incorporate Role Play and Case Studies into Lessons: Teach students
socialization skills such as standing up straight, looking people in the eye,
responding when people talk to you, inviting friends to play, saying no,
speaking clearly, and being confident in new situations. Have children act out
bullying scenarios where they choose to walk away, hang out with others, tell
an adult, and are reminded of their identity in Christ. Use role play to
practice how friends should respond to bullying. Case studies are also good exercises to get
children thinking about proper Biblical responses in a non-threatening type of
way.
6.
Utilize Biblical Examples of Bullying: Prepare lessons about bullying from
Bible accounts. You can utilize the
story of David and Goliath in 1 Samuel 17 and discuss David’s courage and trust
in God. You can use the story of Joseph
and his jealous brothers in Genesis 37 and discuss how God had a plan for
Joseph’s life that included challenges to make him stronger.
Almost
as bad as the bullying, is the quiet response from the victim’s peers. When friends remain silent and do not stick
up for the victim, that child feels a sense of betrayal. You can discuss how to stand up for a friend
with the passage of the Good Samaritan in Luke 10:25-37. You can also explain that Jesus understands
what they are going through, as he was betrayed by Judas in the garden (John
18) and abandoned by his closest friends when He was crucified.
7.
Discuss God’s Response to Bullies: In regards to bullies, Proverbs says that
the person who gossips, slanders, or spreads lies is a fool. James 3:1-11 discusses the evil that the
tongue can do. Psalm 5 states that God
will destroy those who speak falsehood and that the righteous will be
protected. Proverbs 14:31 says, “He who
oppresses the poor reproaches his Maker, but he who honors Him has mercy on the
needy.” In other words, it is an insult
to your Maker when you exploit (or hurt) those who are powerless. Though God’s Word is harsh when it comes to
bullying, He still loves the bully and longs for the bully to know Him and be
changed by Him.
8.
Discuss God’s Response to Victims: In John 1:12, it states, “Yet to all who did
receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become
children of God.” John 15:15 states that
we are Christ’s friend. Matthew 5:11
says that we are blessed when people insult us, persecute us, or falsely say
all kinds of evil against us. Psalm
84:1-2 invites us to cry out to God for help.
Psalm 12:5 states, “’Because the poor are plundered and the needy groan,
I will now arise,’ says the LORD. ‘I
will protect them from those who malign them.’” I especially love Psalm 34:18,
where God says that He is, “Close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are
crushed in spirit.”
9.
Discuss God’s Response to the Rest of Us: God has asked us all to live in
accordance with Micah 6:8, “Do justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with your
God.” In Isaiah 1:17, he says, “Learn to
do right; seek justice. Defend the
oppressed.” Matthew 25:34-46 provides us
with harsh words for those who do not help those in need. As individuals who follow Christ, we should
be the first ones to be speaking out against bullying because we do not accept
the mistreatment of any person in any way.
10.
Regularly Bestow Value on Your Students: Speak truth into the lives of your
students on a regular basis. Combat the
lies they hear at home, school, or on the playground with words of affirmation,
encouragement, and love. Celebrate
birthdays, special events, milestones, and victories with your presence,
parties, small meaningful gifts, or handwritten notes. Publicly affirm them in front of their
parents, siblings, or peers when you see positive character traits in
action. Use Scripture to encourage them
to continue growing in Christ like character.
-------------------
What To
Do If Your Child Is A Victim of Bullying
One of
parent's worst nightmares is to find out that their child is being picked on in
school. Some parents view bullying as normal behavior that is no big deal, and
while many cases of bullying do resolve themselves, other times a victim of
bullying can suffer long term affects. Parents should not take bullying
lightly, but at the same time, overreacting is also not a good idea. If your
child is a victim of bullying, you should assess the seriousness of the
situation and react accordingly. Taking steps to stop the bullying is the best
thing a parent can do with out singling out their child.
If your
child comes to you and says they are the victim of bullying, or you think that
they may be the victim of bullying, talk with them to see what is going on.
Children are often reluctant to talk about being the victim of bullying so it
is important to reassure them that talking about it will only help and that you
care about their well-being. Many kids think that telling their parents or
teachers about being a victim of bullying will only make it worse so be sure to
take positive steps to stop it that will not instigate the problem.
Children
are often afraid that they bully will find out that they told on them and bully
them even more severely. While this is a legitimate fear, taking the proper
action will not result in this.
You
should find out what your child has tried to do to stop the bullying and give
them other ways to stop it. Often if the victim of bullying reacts in the right
way, the bully will stop. If your child is being bullied but the situation is
not putting them at any risk of physical, emotional, or self esteem damage, the
best thing to do is to give your child advice on how to stop bullying
themselves and let them handle it. Sometimes ignoring a bully, using humor, or
just remaining calm will stop bullying. When children react confidently and
assert themselves to a bully, he will often stop without adult intervention.
If your
child is a victim of bullying and it is severe enough to cause physical,
emotional or self-esteem damage, then you and your child should contact the
school and inform your child's teacher and principal what is going on. Schools
have no tolerance for bullying and if they are aware of what is going on will
work with parents and students to create a solution. Confronting the parent of
your child's bully may or may not be a good idea so it is best to talk with the
school first. Sometimes a bully's parents will be unaware of what is going on
and will be willing to help. Other times a bullies parents will deny that there
is a problem or not want to help. In any case, the bully needs to be stopped
and some sort of positive action should be taken.
----------------
Bullying
Prevention
The Idea
States
can pass tougher and broader anti-bullying laws, making in- and out-of-school
bullying of all children, including military children, a more serious and
punishable offense.
The
Issue
Bullying
is certainly an age-old tradition, but these days, bullies have access to new
tools, from cell phones to Facebook and more. The National Conference of State
Legislatures (NCSL) reports that every day, at least 160,000 U.S. children skip
school because they fear bullies. The National Institute of Child Health and
Human Development estimates that approximately 30 percent of children in grades
6 through 9 have been bullied or have bullied another child.
According
to the Army Times, military children may be at high risk for bullying for two
reasons:
They
move often and they are often the out-of-place “new kids”
The
stress of parental deployment can leave children feeling worried, vulnerable,
and exposed, making them prime targets for bullies
School
surveys, such as one conducted at Fort Bliss, Oklahoma, in 2011 reveal that
military parents believe bullying is a major threat to their children’s ability
to learn.
Unfortunately,
military children are also sometimes the ones doing the bullying. Their
parents, who may be stressed about finances, repeated deployments, or frequent
moves, may lash out against their children who, in turn, may lash out against
their peers. According to one 2007 study from the University of North
Carolina-Chapel Hill, the rate of child abuse and neglect is 42 percent higher
when a parent is deployed versus when both parents are home.
Military
spouses reveal anecdotally in their blogs that they sometimes bully each other
around bases; in other blogs, military parents acknowledge that they can also
be victims of bullying in their units.
What
States are Doing
While
parents and advocates can help address the problem at the community level,
state laws can back them up. The National Conference of State Legislatures
reported that by mid-2011, 39 states had passed or proposed laws to make bullying
and harassment less severe and less common. And, according to Olweus Bullying
Prevention Program from The Hazeldon Foundation and Clemson University, all
states except South Dakota address bullying in their educational codes.
Florida
Florida
passed the “Jeffrey Johnston Stand Up for All Students Act” into law in June
2008. School districts can lose Safe School funding, which are available only
when a school follows state bullying codes and reports incidents appropriately
and can be used for:
after-school
programs for middle-school students
implementing
conflict-resolution strategies
alternative
programs for adjudicated youth
suicide
prevention programs
Named
for a boy who committed suicide because of school bullies, the act makes
in-person or online bullying of any K-12 student or school employee during
school or school-sponsored events, or via public computers, illegal. The law
also requires teachers and administrators to work with parents, volunteers,
school staff, and students to devise policies to comply with the law.
Jeff’s
Law defines any sort of continued teasing, harassment, intimidation, stalking,
violence, theft, destruction of property, social exclusion, or public
humiliation as bullying if the action is intended to cause emotional or
physical harm. According to Florida’s Department of Education, the law
describes bullying as sexual, religious, or racial harassment and allows school
districts to specify other categories. Schools must report cases of bullying to
teachers, principals, and parents, as well as to proper law enforcement
officials. Victims and bullies must then receive counseling.
Contacts
Representative
Matt Caldwell
contact:
Charlotte Gammie, legislative aide
charlotte.gammie@myfloridahouse.gov
New
Jersey
New
Jersey passed the “Anti-Bullying Bill of Rights,” which the New York Times
called “the toughest anti-bullying legislation in the country.” The law was
propelled by the public outcry surrounding the highly publicized suicide of
Tyler Clementi, a Rutgers University freshman and bullying victim. His death
highlighted the role that the Internet and social media now play in bullying
that is: a phenomenon no longer confined to playgrounds and lunch lines.
With its
18 pages of “required components,” the law demands that all New Jersey public
schools adopt broad anti-bullying policies. In addition, schools must increase
staff training and adhere to strict deadlines for reporting bullying incidents.
The law also takes into account the influence of Internet and social media,
meaning that non-school related and off-premise harassment are considered
bullying.
To fully
comply with the law, schools must designate anti-bullying specialists to
investigate complaints, districts must designate anti-bullying coordinators,
and the state education department must evaluate each school’s efforts.
Teachers and administrators who do not comply risk losing their licenses.
Contacts
Barbara
Buono
New
Jersey State Senate Majority Leader and bill sponsor
732-205-1372
senbuono@njleg.org
Valerie
Vainieri Huttle
New
Jersey assemblywoman and bill sponsor
201-541-1118
Utah
Utah
enacted a series of revisions to its education codes outlawing bullying and
strictly defining what would count as a violation. All Utah schools are required
to write formal bullying policies.
According
to these Utah codes, a bully is someone who knowingly puts a student in
physical danger or creates fear of physical harm and may use alcohol, weapons,
or other tools to increase intimidation or pain. Bullying is not allowed at any
school or school-affiliated location, including bus stops and sports games. The
use of physical or psychological violence to initiate someone into a club,
team, or group while on or traveling to and from school grounds or school-sponsored
events counts is considered bullying.
Anyone
participating in or coaching a sport or club must undergo training about the
dangers of hazing and methods for preventing and reporting it. Participants
must be retrained every three years.
Schools
must evaluate and bullying problems and are encouraged assess bully-prone areas
such as hallways and lunchrooms. Students must complete surveys to depict
bullying in their communities. And all non-teaching school staff members are
included in bullying awareness training.
Contact
Representative
Carol Spackman Moss
801.272.6507
carolspackmoss@mindspring.com
Other
states have laws with provisions worth highlighting:
Georgia’s
bullying law requires students to undergo “character education” courses, which
Bully Police USA rates as an “A++” model.
Illinois’
legislation includes military children in its anti-bullying and
anti-discrimination law, specifying that discrimination against military
children because of their parents’ military status is illegal.
Several
states, including Rhode Island, define lewd text messaging as bullying.
What the
Federal Government Is Doing
Several
federal agencies, including the Departments of Defense, Education, and Health
and Human Services, are working together to “Stop Bullying Now!”
Resources
Bully
Police USA
Olweus
Bullying Prevention Program: state and federal bullying information
The
Trevor Romain Company bullying prevention resources and tools
----------------------
ATLANTIC
CANADA- TAKING BULLYING AND KIDS SERIOUSLY..
Bullying
– What Parents and Children NEED to Know!
September
17, 2012
Place :
Piers Military Community Centre
Time :
18:30
Details
: Best for parents with school-aged children Piers Military Community Centre,
Building 106 Windsor Park, Halifax Do you have school aged children? Are you
concerned about bullying and are looking for ways that you AND your child can
take responsibility and action for preventing bullying? Join us in this
practical workshop that looks at what bullying is, some bullying facts, and why
bullying can be hard to see. We will also look at who the bully, the bystander
and the victim are, as well as recommendations and strategies for bullying
prevention and addressing bullying when it occurs. We will also touch on the
newest form of bullying; cyber bullying and our children’s increasing time
spent in the digital world. Monday, September 17, 6:30pm-8:30pm Cost:
$5/military family; $10/non-military family (will be put on a wait list)
Childcare is available to military families at an additional cost of $3/child
or $6/per family/ Deadline to Register: Wednesday, September 12. Call 427-7788
for more information and to register.
-----------------------
Men and boys of Canada- stepping up against bullying and Abuse of girls and women
---------------------
AND our courtney
BULLIED
TO DEATH BY PEERS- Courtney A Brown
June 2, 1993 - March 30, 2011
COVERSTORY Ode to Courtney
Staff
reporter Patti Brooks Arenburg and staff photographer Eric Wynne
the stor
y behind the death of 17-year-old Courtney Brown
Parents
who lost daughter to suicide crusade against bullying
T OM AND
SHARON Brown had barely ordered their food from the restaurant when they got a
text from their daughter.
"By
the time you get home, I'll be dead."
It took
mere minutes to rush to their Parrsboro home, but when they arrived, 17-yearold
Courtney was already hanging from a joist in the basement ceiling.
"I
grabbed her and I lifted her up," Tom said, recalling what happened March
30.
"I'm
screaming for my wife . . . and she can't hear me. And I'm screaming, screaming
'Call 911!' " The former soldier desperately struggled to untie the cord
around Courtney's neck. He couldn't and ran upstairs to get a knife.
He got
her to the floor and his military training kicked in. He started doing CPR for
what seemed like an eternity before the paramedics arrived.
But
"Daddy's girl" was gone.
"I
tried, but I couldn't do anything for her," he cried, the anguish etched
on his face.
Reliving
the horror of that night, the grieving father got up from the living room
couch to compose himself. With his head in his hands and body hunched over the
kitchen counter, his wife stroked his back to soothe his sorrow.
Through
the tears, he asks the question that continues to haunt them: "Why?"
Courtney
was the kind of kid who made friends easily, keeping in contact with the ones
she left behind with each military move. Her network of friends stretched
across Canada and all the way to Costa Rica, where her grandmother lived.
A tomboy
at heart, she loved horseback riding and camping, and eschewed tight jeans,
dresses and makeup in favour of her Leafs jersey.
Friends
said she had a great sense of humour and was cheerful and outgoing. Her smile
lit up every picture she was in.
"We
went off-roading a lot. . . . She was definitely the one in the back going 'Woohoo!'
" recalled Courtney Smith, a friend from Parrsboro.
While
living in Calgary, her family said their daughter's heart was always in Parrsboro.
"She
liked the small town," her father said. " 'I'm going home,' she said
when we were coming here. And whenever we'd drive from New Brunswick into Nova
Scotia, she'd go, 'Smell that fresh air. We're home.' " While on summer
vacation last year in the quiet Cumberland County town, she found Jordan, the
love of her life.
"She
showed me a picture of him and said, 'Mom, this is the boy I'm going to marry,'
" said Sharon.
"I
knew what she was going through because when I first saw Tom when I was 15, I
had said the same thing."
But
Courtney's happiness was short-lived.
On Aug.
5, 2010, Jordan, 18, died in a tragic car accident after partying with friends.
The
Browns brought their grieving daughter back to Parrsboro for the funeral,
setting in motion a series of further sorrows.
"We
could hear her in the house talking about how much she wanted to come back here
and be near him, and to heal," said Sharon.
"I
said to Tom . . . 'We have to do this for our daughter. She wants to be here. I
will give up my job and move here for her.' "And sometimes I wish I never
would've made that decision."
While
her parents tied up loose ends in Alberta, Courtney moved down in time to begin
Grade 12 at Parrsboro Regional High School. Courtney, who was staying with
friends, told her parents that she liked the school.
Things
seemed to be working out.
The
Browns were on the road to Nova Scotia in October 2010 when Courtney texted to
say a woman threatened her on school grounds. Her parents say it had something
to do with Jordan, and Courtney had handled it before they arrived.
RCMP
charged a local woman with uttering threats. The case was set for trial in July
but was dropped after Courtney's death.
The
Browns thought nothing more of it until later that month, when Sharon was
called to the school after Courtney walked out.
"The
vice-principal said she was being defiant," Sharon said. "She was
crying. And you would think with the small-town school, they knew what was
going on, that they would have some understanding of what she was going through.
They knew, but no."
Courtney
and her mom talked to the principal, and when Sharon briefly left the office,
her daughter made a frightening revelation.
"She
told the principal that she wanted to die and be with Jordan," Sharon
said.
The
principal took Sharon aside, told her what Courtney said and Sharon immediately
got her daughter in to see a mental health counsellor.
The
Browns thought they only needed to help Courtney deal with her unresolved grief
but soon discovered that her problems ran much deeper.
Courtney's
former friends were bullying her.
"I
think it started with the death of her boyfriend and Courtney moving back
here," Tom said.
"They
were jealous. How could her boyfriend have liked Courtney more, knowing her
less? . . . That's how petty some of these kids are in this town."
At
school and around town, kids verbally abused her, resorting to prank calls,
text messages and even Facebook to spew their venom. They told her to go back
to Calgary, called her a slut and a whore and said she looked like a man, her
parents said.
"People
don't realize how much Jordan really meant to her and what she was going
through," Sharon said. "And those mean words just pushed her over the
edge."
Courtney
started making excuses to avoid school, frequently complaining of stomach
trouble. She wouldn't go on the school bus anymore, wouldn't go into town by
herself and didn't want to stay home alone.
Last
year, right after Halloween, bullies threw pumpkins at the Browns' house and in
the yard.
"One
little treat that they left afterwards, one of them defecated in a pumpkin
and stuck it right behind my pickup," Tom said.
In
January, fire destroyed the Browns' home and the family moved into a relative's
house next door until their new home was completed. Insurance covered the loss,
but prank callers told Courtney that someone had burned the house down to chase
her out of town.
Despite
everything , Courtney tried to move on, and even found another boyfriend. He
later broke up with her and joined the bullies, her parents said.
As the
months wore on, Courtney skipped more school, dropped a class to avoid the
bullies and smoked more marijuana, her parents said.
Sharon
and her daughter went for long drives to talk about Courtney's problems and her
future. They discussed things like country music, clothes, boys, graduation and
school.
"I'm
pretty sure she didn't tell me everything, but she told me some of the stuff
that was being said, and I told her to walk away and they would go away,"
Sharon said.
Visits
to the school to talk about the bullying continued, but her parents said
administrators did nothing.
Still in
counselling, Courtney clung to the hope that after graduation she would get out
of Parrsboro and attend Nova Scotia Community College to study photography.
She was
excited about her upcoming prom and the prospect of breaking free from her
tormentors. Her dad said she was even planning to buy a dress in her favourite
colour, green, for the soiree.
But
things seemed to spiral when she found out that two of the bullies were
planning to attend the same Dartmouth campus, the Browns said.
Courtney
ditched her college plans and decided to join the military. The former rugby
player told her father she couldn't retaliate against the girls because she
would have a criminal record and that would hurt her chances at a military
career.
Just
days before Courtney's death, Sharon bitterly recalled her last conversation
with the principal, who "told me that if she didn't see (the bullying) and
didn't hear it, she couldn't do anything about it."
The
principal "told me that if my daughter wasn't happy there, move her to
Springhill," Sharon said.
After
that, the family thought seriously about moving back to Calgary.
The
night before she killed herself, Courtney and her mom repeatedly drove past
Jordan's grave.
"She
. . . told me she was never going to meet another guy like him," Sharon
said.
"And
I said, 'Courtney, there'll always be someone else when you least expect it.' .
. . I wish I would've known. Maybe it was a sign."
On March
30, Courtney walked out of a test and a friend drove her home from school at
lunchtime. Courtney told the friend "See you tomorrow" like nothing
was wrong, her parents said.
Courtney
later asked if she could have another friend over, but Sharon, who had been
sick all day, refused and they had an argument.
Later
that evening, Sharon and Tom decided to go out for supper and asked if Courtney
would like to come or have them bring something home.
"And
then she started an argument, like, 'Well, why didn't you just ask me if I
wanted to come for dinner instead of you saying did you want to bring something
back for me?' " Tom said. "Like, as if we didn't want her to be with
us for that. You know, some of her thinking just wasn't straight.
"And
we went, 'No, you can come with us or not.' And she made a big fuss, so we
ended up going to the restaurant by ourselves."
Not long
after the Browns arrived at the restaurant, they received Courtney's message.
Much of what happened after they found her is a blur.
Sharon
remembers being on the phone trying to contact family and close friends before
the news hit Facebook.
They
found a photo on Courtney's dresser of her sitting at Jordan's gravesite and
text messages she received that night from her ex-boyfriend saying she was
"not worth it," her mom said.
The
Browns say their daughter's suicide has left them wondering what else they
could have done.
What if
they had called police? What if they had pushed the school harder? What if she
had left a note so they could understand why? What if they had told her to
fight instead of turn the other cheek?
They
rarely sleep now, and their search for answers often leads to tears.
Sharon
has a hard time doing the laundry because she has to walk past where Courtney
was found. Tom, always his daughter's protector, blames himself for not being
able to save her.
He tries
to keep busy, focusing on constructing their new home and small projects like
horseshoe and fire pits near the large "party shack" picnic area he
built this summer.
Courtney's
parents pick out her photographs to hang on the walls of the upstairs
landing, where they will put a cedar chest with her keepsakes. From the window
above, the Browns can see the graveyard where their daughter is buried.
They
visit Courtney's grave, beside Jordan's, often and Sharon reads her Facebook
posts from friends.
"I
wish she would've known how many friends she did have," said Sharon.
"But all she could focus on was the bad ones."
Some of
Courtney's friends sent Sharon cards on Mother's Day, and some, like Courtney's
childhood friend from Ontario, come to visit.
When
Sharon sees kids Courtney knew, it brings waves of anger, frustration and
sadness. More often than not, she thinks about packing up and leaving town.
The days
now go by slowly, and the parents admit they are drifting through life instead
of living.
"Every
day, you feel like you can't even go on, nothing to look forward to," Tom
Brown said, crying. "Every day is just another day."
Sharon
is in counselling, but Tom, diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder in
the military, is not ready to go.
The RCMP
seized Courtney's computer and her cellphone, each of which included messages
from bullies, but no charges were laid.
And no
one, not even representatives from the school or the board, has apologized for
what happened to Courtney.
Carolyn
Pierce, spokeswoman for the Chignecto-Central regional school board, would not
agree to an interview. In an email, she wrote: "It would not be
appropriate, nor is it our practice, to discuss confidential or personal
matters, or specific situations regarding our students or staff, especially
considering the email sent by the N.S.
chief
public health officer to all media earlier this spring."
Dr.
Robert Strang's email warns the media to adhere to "safe reporting guidelines"
when dealing with teen suicides.
"There
is considerable research that demonstrates the reporting of suicide can cause
copycat cases, particularly among youth and younger adults. Additionally, there
is evidence that, when followed, these guidelines reduce the risk of similar
suicides and the rate of suicide in general."
Courtney's
parents see it as an attempt to gloss over what happened to their daughter. But
the Browns are adamant; they say bullies drove her to take her own life and got
away with it. They say they are not going to let people in Parrsboro or
anywhere else forget what happened.
Pink
anti-bullying signs with Courtney's smiling face line the sides of Tom's
pickup. The Browns had T-shirts made for friends and family to wear, and their
son, Chad, participated in the Kids Help Phone fundraising walk in Calgary,
something the parents hope to do next year.
Aside
from a page in the school yearbook dedicated to Courtney and Facebook pages in
her memory, there are few signs of her loss and fewer signs of change in the
small town, the Browns say.
They say
teachers, school administrators, police and governments need to step up and
help those who are being hurt so victims know that they are not powerless and
alone.
They
encouraged victims to stand up to the bullies and begged parents to get police
involved when bullying occurs.
"I
thought that something was getting done in school, but I guess I was
wrong," Sharon said. "They just pushed it under the rug as soon as I
left."
Through
it all , the Browns have found some solace from family and friends, and, in
particular, knowing that Courtney's death has helped others.
Two
people can now see after receiving her corneas, and sclera and bone grafts were
expected to help at least 10 more people.
"That's
Courtney's gift," her father sobbed.
(pbrooks@herald.ca)
'I'm
pretty sure she didn't tell me everything, but she told me some of the stuff
that was being said, and I told her to walk away and they would go away.'
SHARON
BROWN Courtney's mother
-------------------------
and
beautiful jamie... oh Lord...
Gay
Ottawa teen who killed himself was bullied
Jamie
Hubley was a figure skater and the only openly gay boy in his school
CBC News
Funeral
Thursday for Ottawa councillor's sonNational suicide prevention plan needed,
MDs hear
Allan
Hubley on son's death5:08
Suicide
prevention
Groups
that provide support to youth:
Ottawa
Distress Line: 613-238-3311
Kids
Help Phone 1-800-668-6868
Child,
Youth and Family Crisis Line for Eastern Ontario 1-877-377-7775
Eastern
Ottawa Resource Centre: 613-741-6025
Mental
Health Crisis Line (Ages 16 and up) 613-722-6914
Youth
Services Bureau of Ottawa 613-260-2360
The
father of a gay Ottawa teen who committed suicide Saturday told CBC News his
son was constantly bullied throughout elementary school and into high school.
Allan
Hubley, an Ottawa city councillor who represents Kanata South Ward, also spoke
Tuesday about his 15-year-old son Jamie's depression over the bullying and his
desperate desire for acceptance.
Hubley
said the bullying began when Jamie was in Grade 7 and teens tried to stuff
batteries down his throat on the school bus because he was a figure skater.
"[Jamie]
was the kind of boy that loved everybody," said Hubley, "He couldn't
understand why everyone would be so cruel to him about something as simple as
skating."
"He
just wanted someone to love him. That's all. And what's wrong with that? Why do
people have to be cruel to our children when all they want to do is be
loved?" said Hubley, speaking on the phone with the CBC's Ashley Burke.
Jamie
Hubley, 15, commit suicide Saturday after battling depression and being bullied
over the fact he was the only openly gay teenager at his west Ottawa high
school.Facebook
In high
school, the relentless teasing focused on the fact that Jamie was openly gay.
Suicide
note posted on teen's blog
Jamie
Hubley died Saturday. A suicide note was posted on his online blog where he
spoke of his love for singing and pop music including Lady Gaga, Adele, Katy
Perry and Christina Aguilera.
The note
also spoke of the pain from both bullying and depression.
"I'm
tired of life, really. It's so hard, I'm sorry, I can't take it anymore,"
his note read.
"I
don't want my parents to think this is their fault, either. I love my mom and
dad. It's just too hard. I dont want to wait three more years, this hurts too
much."
'I
couldn't fix my own boy and that's tearing me apart.'—Allan Hubley
The
Kanata teenager also described how he hated being the only openly gay boy in
his school. His family had tried to help by moving him from a Kanata Catholic
high school to A.Y. Jackson Secondary School, which is a public school.
Hubley
had even spoken out for gay students at A.Y. Jackson through the Rainbow Club,
a gay-straight alliance. But the bullying did not stop and there were no other
openly gay teenagers at that school, either.
The
Ottawa-Carleton District School Board released a statement Tuesday sending its
condolences to the Hubley family. It also spoke about bullying in schools and
how it could lead to depression.
“I
couldn’t agree more about the importance of dealing with these issues. These
are complex issues that we have to deal with as a community”, said Jennifer
Adams, the board's director of education.
Local
community opening up about teen suicide
Awareness
of teen depression and mental health has grown in Ottawa recently, particularly
after the death of Daron Richardson, the 14-year-old daughter of former NHLer
Luke Richardson.
That
death and a series of teen suicides in the Ottawa Valley in 2010 have forced
communities to design better strategies to address the issue, including
identifying signs of depression earlier and removing the stigma surrounding
mental health issues.
Jamie
Hubley struggled with depression for a long time, his father said, but no
matter how much his parents tried to help, the teen could not escape his
sadness.
"I
lost a beautiful, beautiful child that was going to make the world a better
place. I've been involved in a lot of things in my community ... but I couldn't
fix my own boy and that's tearing me apart," Allan Hubley said.
-------------
11 years
old..... disabled and beautiful Canadian child.... commits suicide to not have
to face his captors of his soul in yet another display- THE COURTS...... OVER 300 CANADIAN CHILDREN HAVE COMMITED
SUICIDE...
STAND UP
CANADA.... LET'S MARCH TO THESE PLACES AND SCREAM AND SCREAM AND SCREAM.... AND
THEN LAY INDIVIDUAL LAWSUITS..... take
charge of this... or we should as Canadians.... this MUST stop- OVER 300 TWEEN, TEEN SUICIDES LAST YEAR IN
CANADA..... STOP THIS!!!!
watch
all the videos on this site- over 6 minutes from all over the world THE UGLY
EVIL OF SCHOOL BULLYING- be ready to cry.... and cry... and cry...
First
off I do NOT own this Video or any of its content. I found this on my school
computer and thought that people would be interested on youtube. The music is
"Still fighting it" by Ben Folds. Please make comments rate
andsubscribe for more of my videos = D
Mark
Wills - Don't Laugh At Me
---------------------
I Know
Someone
This
video was created by me for my school's Anti-Bullying assembly. Our assembly
was the day before the big No Trojan Left Behind assembly. This video is all
about kids helping each other and not just standing by and doing nothing. This
video, I hope, will encourage kids to step up and do something, even if it is
something small. They could make a huge difference, even if they don't know it.
For
Courtney and Jenna of Nova Scotia- Jamie of Ottawa and so many others.... many
with disabilities- bullied simply because they were different- imagine... children, teens and tweens and
youngbloods..... how cruel is that message in Canada!
and now 2 horrible years later.... Amanda... our Rehtaeh, Mitchell and on and on
------------------
What
happened toAshleyl- who went to incarceration for throwing apples at a postman
and the horror and nightmare... of simply having mental illness that nobody
cared about- even her family ... is such a horror story...
New
inquest into death of Ashley Smith will look at effects of confinement
Tuesday,
September 25, 2012 6:04 PM
Presiding
coroner Dr. John Carlisle says jurors at the Toronto inquest into the death of
Ashley Smith also need to hear evidence about the role of mental-health care.
Photo
Credit: Files , Global News
TORONTO
- A coroner's inquest into the death of a deeply troubled teenager in custody
will probe the effects of her long-term solitary confinement and repeated
prison transfers.
Presiding
coroner Dr. John Carlisle says jurors at the Toronto inquest into the death of
Ashley Smith also need to hear evidence about the role of mental-health care.
Carlisle
says no one will ever know what Ashley was thinking before she choked to death
on a strip of cloth in her cell in Kitchener, Ont., almost five years ago.
But he
says the 19-year-old had repeatedly tried to strangle herself and authorities
didn't seem capable of dealing with her.
The teen
from Moncton, N.B., was jailed at age 15 and given a 90-day sentence, but
remained behind bars because of poor behaviour.
Smith's
family, which believes her death was accidental, welcomes Carlisle's approach
as a "breath of fresh air."
Read it
on Global News: New inquest into death of Ashley Smith will look at effects of
confinement
----------------
GOOD FOR
ST.FX
A WAVE
OF PINK...... CENTRAL KINGS HIGH SCHOOL- Annapolis Valley- got mad about
bullies and 2 of the most popular guys
decided to change the world- Travis Price and David Shepherd started the Pink
Shirt Campaign.... and just look at the miracles happening accross Canada and
the world...
Sea of
pink makes waves against bullying
Posted on March 6, 2012 Richard MacKenzie,
richardmac@thecasket.ca
photo
Students,
staff and faculty gathered at the Bloomfield Centre at St. F.X. Feb. 29 during
Pink Shirt Day, an anti-bullying event started in Nova Scotia and recognized
across Canada. (Richard MacKenzie photo)
It was a
sea of pink gathering in a Bloomfield Centre lobby Feb. 29.
Students, staff and faculty came together
wearing pink shirts, hoodies, scarves, ribbons and anything else with the
colour which has become a symbol of bullying intolerance on the last Wednesday
in February across Canada.
The movement started in 2007 when Annapolis
Valley teens David Shepherd and Travis Price organized their school mates at
Central Kings to wear pink in support of a Grade 9 student who was being
bullied because he wore a pink shirt to school.
Shepherd and Price connected with a number of
their friends and classmates and purchased some pink T-shirts for people to wear.
Their efforts are now being duplicated across Canada as an anti-bullying day.
“I used
to coach boys’ volleyball at the high school and I coached against Travis,”
Trudy Delorey, one of the organizers of the St. F.X. gathering, said. “I sent
him an email this morning telling him we were doing this at St. F.X.”
While
there wasn’t an official count, it was strong turnout for the event which
concluded with a group photo on an outdoor staircase.
“It went
really well,” Delorey said.
“It was
a bit of a rush to try and throw everything together at the last minute but I
think it was better this way. It turned into a big event that people will not
forget about.”
Fellow
organizer Susan MacKay noted the because the previous week (Feb. 20 to 24) was
reading week at the university, with many students home, there was really only
Monday and Tuesday for the event to come together.
“We did
a lot of promotion through social networking, a Facebook site was created for
the event. We used the campus listserv, our individual connections and the
community was very supportive,” MacKay said.
“You can
see a lot of pink on campus.”
Joining
Delorey and MacKay on the organizing team were Olwyn Foley, Marie Brunelle and
Karen Hamelin.
Hamelin said she was pleased to see a variety
of people attending the gathering and that she herself promotes the
anti-bullying message from a few different perspectives.
“I’m
here as a mother, as a daughter, as a co-worker, a latent activist, as a
cross-campus representative and an educator of sorts with my children,” Hamelin
said. “I was so glad to see administration here, there were faculty members,
everybody jumped on board and they were so keen to jump on-board.”
Brunelle,
who works in the human rights and equity office at St. F.X., talked about how the
cross-section of people was appropriate because while bullying is often
perceived as a grade school problem, bullying doesn’t end with high school
graduation.
“We have
to be concerned with bullying in the workplace and in the (university)
classroom,” Brunelle said.
“In
workplaces there are policies that are supposed to address this issue but it’s
not easy for people to go and challenge it because they worry about what
happens after they lodge a complaint. And there are bullying situations on
campus that go unresolved because people are reluctant to come forward.
“People
(being informed about a bullying situation) will say ‘oh, you have to deal with
that,’ ‘he is this type of person’ or ‘she has always been this way’ but no,
it’s a right we have to live in a comfortable and respectful workplace. So I
guess it’s up to each of us.”
Empowering
bystanders is something Dr. J.H. Gillis High School is working with through
their Eliminating Victimization Action Committee (EVAC) program.
It allows bystanders to report bullying
situations in a safe and anonymous manner through programs such as Crime
Stoppers.
MacKay, a Nova Scotia Government Employees
Union (NSGEU) bully-free workplace facilitator, noted empowering bystanders is
important because they too can be a victim of a bullying situation.
“Research
shows witnesses can be just as traumatized because they feel helpless,
disempowered, guilty, afraid… bullying impacts everyone,” MacKay said.
“Bullying
is like throwing a pebble into the pond. There is the ripple effect and it
affects the person, their health, their family and friends, colleagues,
workplace and it just keeps spearing out.”
MacKay
added that bullying is really about power.
“It
occurs with an imbalance of power, or perceived imbalance of power. People who
bully use their power to empower themselves by disempowering others.
“And
people haven’t always been comfortable saying the words ‘bully’ or ‘bullying’
but they do now and once you can name it, you can begin to do something about
it and make it stop.
“Today
was about creating positive social change… promoting a culture of civility,
equality, and respect for everyone.”
----------------------
11 years
old..... disabled and beautiful Canadian child.... commits suicide to not have
to face his captors of his soul in yet another display- THE COURTS...... OVER 300 CANADIAN CHILDREN HAVE COMMITED
SUICIDE.....
STAND UP CANADA.... LET'S MARCH TO THESE
PLACES AND SCREAM AND SCREAM AND SCREAM.... AND THEN LAY INDIVIDUAL
LAWSUITS..... take charge of this... or
we should as Canadians.... this MUST stop-
OVER 300 TEEN SUICIDES LAST YEAR IN CANADA..... STOP THIS!!!!
watch
all the videos on this site- over 6 minutes from all over the world THE UGLY
EVIL OF SCHOOL BULLYING- be ready to cry.... and cry... and cry...
Talent
Show - Cyberbullying Prevention Commercials
First
off I do NOT own this Video or any of its content. I found this on my school
computer and thought that people would be interested on youtube. The music is
"Still fighting it" by Ben Folds. Please make comments rate
andsubscribe for more of my videos = D
-------------
HORRIFIC GLOBAL STATS ON YOUTH BULLYING.... tears and prayers... and action 2 change...
CANADA- SEPTEMBER 2013- STATISTICS STUDY ON SCHOOL BULLYING
BLOGGED:
CANADA MILITARY NEWS: Major Reports- Statistics- September 2013-Canada- STOP A BULLY/ USA- ARC OF HOPE- Breaking the Chains of Abuse- It's Time- NO MORE BULLYCIDES
------------------------------------------
Classified - 3 Foot Tall
comment:
thts wut i feel lik when im being bullied in real life :(
LINKS ON BULLYING AND CHILD ABUSE- (Mind Rape/Physical
Torture/Sexual Assault)
FOR KIDS- TWEENS-TEENS-YOUNGBLOODS- But perhaps most of all…..
each and every Canadain Adult- we must take more responsibility and be more
vigilant:
To learn more about bullying and if u r being abused- check out:
HELP LINES....
NO MORE BULLYING- NO MORE- CANADA'S STEPPING UP...
TO CANADA'S CLASSIFIED... 4 EVERY KID IN THE WORLD- whether ur 2
or 102- we've all been there...
see u got that Inner Ninja going on- and don't 4get kids and
elders are also ur fans- u chisel ur words in stone on our hearts and bring
hope from despair 4 homeless kids and kids who have just had a shitty chance at
life- thanks Canadian son... and taps out 2 David Myles who also has Canada's
flag wrapped around his heart and soul- the Buddy Holly of Canada
Classified - Inner Ninja ft. David Myles
LINKS ON BULLYING AND CHILD ABUSE- (Mind Rape/Physical
Torture/Sexual Assault)
FOR KIDS- TWEENS-TEENS-YOUNGBLOODS- But perhaps most of all.....
each and every Canadain Adult- we must take more responsibility and be more
vigilant:
To learn more about bullying and if u r being abused- check out:
RespectED: Violence & Abuse Prevention
If you are a victim of bullying, call The Kids Help Phone at
1-800-668-6868.
Aaron
The Girl you just called fat? She has been starving herself & has lost over 30lbs.
The Boy you just called stupid? He has a learning disability & studies over 4hrs a night.
The Girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting makeup on hoping people will like her.
The Boy you just tripped? He's abused enough at home. There's a lot more to people than you think.
Put this as your status if you're against bullying!
OTHER LINKS:
To learn more about bullying, check out:
www.stopcyberbullying.org
www.cyberbullying.novascotia.ca
www.prevnet.ca
www.cpha.ca/en/activities/safe-schools.aspx
www.kidshelpphone.ca
If you are a victim of bullying, call The Kids Help Phone at 1-800-668-6868.
The Girl you just called fat? She has been starving herself & has lost over 30lbs.
The Boy you just called stupid? He has a learning disability & studies over 4hrs a night.
The Girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting makeup on hoping people will like her.
The Boy you just tripped? He's abused enough at home. There's a lot more to people than you think.
Put this as your status if you're against bullying!
OTHER LINKS:
To learn more about bullying, check out:
www.stopcyberbullying.org
www.cyberbullying.novascotia.ca
www.prevnet.ca
www.cpha.ca/en/activities/safe-schools.aspx
www.kidshelpphone.ca
If you are a victim of bullying, call The Kids Help Phone at 1-800-668-6868.
-------------
POSTED:
BULLY TROLLS- Nail ya-Jail Ya- World is standing up- no more
excuses- no more abuses of our kids/ F**KING PAEDOPHILES- WE'RE HUNTING- GONNA
GETCHA Sep 28 2013
BLOGGED:
STOP A BULLY CANADA- STATISTICS- r kids matter/ PAEDOPHILE HUNTING- good news world- Nova Scotia Home 4 Coloured Children gets their inquiry/HUNTING PAEDOPHILE UPDATES-
BLOGGED
CANADA STEPPING UP 4 R KIDS - BULLYCIDES AND BULLYING- Statistics September 2013 Canada- No more abuses- No more Excuses- r kids matter Sept 30 2013
BLOGGED;
CANADA STEPPING UP 4 R KIDS - BULLYCIDES AND BULLYING- Statistics September 2013 Canada- No more abuses- No more Excuses- r kids matter Sept 30 2013
BLOGGED
BULLY TROLLS- Nail ya-Jail Ya- World is standing up- no more excuses- no more abuses of our kids/ F**KING PAEDOPHILES- WE'RE HUNTING- GONNA GETCHA Sep 28 2013 PAEDOPHILE review by Feds
BLOGGED:
CANADA MILITARY NEWS: Sep 12- Canada's stepping up - no more abuses or excuses of rape, abuse of children and women/photos/videos/ wake up Canada- One Billion Rising/St. Mary's steps up/UBC steps up/ Canada
BLOGGED:
CANADA- 2 BILLION RISING-breaking the chains/Classified is a hero 2 child victims-bullied-abused WTF???/St Mary's Canada Students stepping up tackle rape, abuse of women, kids/IDLE NO MORE CANADA FIRST PEOPLES- 10,000 years/SHANIA/CLASSIFIED/ABUSED/VIDEOS/M.A.D.D.
BLOGGED:
CANADA: LIFE WITH BILLY- Nova Scotia-mandatory reading - no more excuses - no more abuses- Universities, Colleges, High Schools must change- ur the leaders of our Canada Kids- they look up 2 u/PAEDOPHILE MONSTERS- Martin Kruze I was a paedophile's dream
BLOGGED:
CANADA MILITARY NEWS: Sep6- innie meenie minie mow- catch a nig**r by the toe -in our day VS 2day's "Y is for your sister, O is for oh so tight, U is for underage, N is for no consent, G is for grab that ass, SMU boys we like them young." - Thx SMU students r couragely stepping up and fixing the hurtin
BLOGGED:
CANADA MILITARY NEWS:UPDATED AUG 23- luv u gay bros and sistas-but DO NOT HIJACK winter olympics/paralympics- we'll NEV'A 4give ya/Nova Scotia News/AGAHANISTAN UP2DATE NEWS/BULLYCIDE N BULLYS GET LAW NOVA SCOTIA STYLE
BLOGGED
CANADA MEN AND BOYS MAN UP against Sexual Assault, Bullying and Abuse of Girls and Women- ONE BILLION RISING- breaking the chains -WHITE RIBBONS
BLOGGED
CANADA- MEN STEPPING UP AGAINST ABUSE OF GIRLS-WOMEN- Canada is Manning Up- WHITERIBBON.CA- real men and boys stepping up 2 break the chains of abuse of women all over the world- empowering men and boys- no more excuses - no more abuses- pictures videos-Oct 04 2013
BLOGGED
CANADA MILITARY NEWS: July24- Nova Scotia bullies caught by ANONYMOUS- BULLIES F**KIN PAEDOPHILE HUNTING/ NOVA SCOTIA NEWS MILITARY-VOTING/ REHTAEH PARSON- WE WANT JUSTICE-Peter Mackay stepping up 4 victims in Canada- about damm time
BLOGGED
CANADA MILITARY NEWS: Pg3Jul 22- PAEDOPHILE HUNTING SUCCESS/Mackay new Minister of Justice 4Canada/Human Trafficking -26 Million women and kids years -united nations looks the other way- the nightmare 4 kids in 2013- SHAME ON US ALL- one billion rising- one billion rising
BLOGGED
.... and why I blog.... 4 the
troops always...
CANADA MILITARY- July23- Wearing Red 2da- Videos-Nato Troops-158- PTSD- SUICIDES-CADETS- Women -One Billion rising-God bless Canada Nato and Afghanistan
BLOGGED:
IDLE NO MORE CANADA- One Billion Rising- Breaking the Chains- Global abuse of Aboriginals First Peoples- Canada/USA/Australia/New Zealand/Latin America - UNITED NATIONS SHAME- all politicans have betrayed Canadians 10,000 year peoples
CHER ON FEMINISM
What is the bad connotation with feminism? When women have full
control of their bodies, when women get paid exactly the same as men, when
everything that happens for men happens for women, I can stop calling myself a
feminist.
AUSTRALIA...
13 child suicides in three years prompt call for action as
bullying ...
May 24, 2013 - Reyelle McKeever, manager of the Child Death
Register at the ... Australia topping a list of 24 countries when it came to
bullying on social networks. ... Bullied at work Posted at 10:30 AM May 25,
2013 .... 58% off Koh Samui getaway for 2 with daily breakfast, spa session,
dinner, cooking class & more!
-----------------
CANADA
CANADIAN BULLYING STATISTICS
A study on bullying by the University
of British Columbia, based on 490 students (half female, half male) in
Grades 8-10 in a B.C. city in the winter of 1999, showed:- » 64 per cent of kids had been bullied at school.
- » 12 per cent were bullied regularly (once or more a week).
- » 13 per cent bullied other students regularly (once or more a week).
- » 72 per cent observed bullying at school at least once in a while.
- » 40 per cent tried to intervene.
- » 64 per cent considered bullying a normal part of school life.
- » 20-50 per cent said bullying can be a good thing (makes people tougher, is a good way to solve problems, etc.).
- » 25-33 per cent said bullying is sometimes OK and/or that it is OK to pick on losers.
- » 61-80 per cent said bullies are often popular and enjoy high status among their peers.
Source: Centre For Youth Social Development, UBC Faculty of Education
- 1 in 5 Canadian Teens have witnessed online Bullying
- 25% of kids between 12-15 have witnessed cyberbullying
- 25% of girls and 17% of boys have witnessed online harassment
- 51% of all teens have had negative experience with social networking
- 16% said someone posted an embarassing photo of them
- 12% said someone hacked their account
Source: Ipsos Reid 2011 Survey of 416 Canadian Teenagers
Canada Bullying Statistics and Facts:
- Punching, shoving, teasing, spreading bad rumours, keeping certain people out of a group, getting certain people to "gang-up" on others are all forms of bullying
- One in seven Canadian children aged 11 to 16 are victims of bullying
- 25% of children in grades 4 to 6 have been bullied
- Bullying occurs once every 7 minutes on the playground and once every 25 minutes in the classroom
- In majority of cases, bullying stops within 10 seconds when peers intervene, or do not support the bullying behaviour
- Adults who were bullied as children are more likely to suffer from depression in adulthood.
- * Between 10% and 15% of high school students are victims.
- * 11% of secondary students bully other youngsters at least once a year.
- * 31% of students say they would participate in the bullying of a young dislikes.
Source: Craig &. Pepler, 1997
Cyberbullying Statistics
* 90% of parents are familiar with cyberbullying; 73% are either very or somewhat concerned about it.
* 2 in 5 parents report their child has been involved in a cyberbullying incident; 1 in 4 educators have been cyber-harassment victims.
* 73% of educators are familiar with the issue and 76% believe cyberbullying is a very or somewhat serious problem at their school.
* Educators consider cyberbullying (76%) as big an issue as smoking (75%) and drugs (75%).
* 2 in 5 parents report their child has been involved in a cyberbullying incident; 1 in 4 educators have been cyber-harassment victims.
* 73% of educators are familiar with the issue and 76% believe cyberbullying is a very or somewhat serious problem at their school.
* Educators consider cyberbullying (76%) as big an issue as smoking (75%) and drugs (75%).
The study adds that "the most commonly experienced form of cyberbullying
is when someone takes a private email, IM, or text message and forwards it to someone
else or posts the communication publicly"
*38% of girls online report being bullied, compared with 26% of online boys.
* Nearly 4 in 10 social network users (39%) have been cyberbullied, compared with 22% of online teens who do not use social networks (all from
Pew, 2007).
is when someone takes a private email, IM, or text message and forwards it to someone
else or posts the communication publicly"
*38% of girls online report being bullied, compared with 26% of online boys.
* Nearly 4 in 10 social network users (39%) have been cyberbullied, compared with 22% of online teens who do not use social networks (all from
Pew, 2007).
Source: Microsoft's Truthyworthy Computing division
STOP A BULLY Member Schools across Canada
View STOP A BULLY Member Schools in a larger map
STOP A BULLY Anti-Bullying Pink Wristbands Distributed
View PINK WRIST Campaign in a larger map
---------------
Cyberbullying statistics
Cyberbulllying is probably a lot more prevalent than you think. The statistics are in fact quite shocking. Take a look at these figures:A poll conducted in 24 countries by the global research company Ipsos for Reuters News, the results of which were published in January 2012 found the following:
A Consumer Reports survey conducted in the US in early 2011 reveals the following shocking statistic: One million children were harassed, threatened, or subjected to other forms of cyberbullying on Facebook in the past year! And take a look at these additional facts: According to the Cyberbullying Research Center :
|
Cyberbulllying around the world
The following table demonstrates parents' attitudes to cyberbullying in 24 countries, including whether or not their child has been cyberbullied.
Source: Ipsos poll for Reuters News, January 2012
How do cyberbulllying victims feel?
According to the Cyberbullying Research Center both boys and girls are likely to report feeling angry, sad, and embarrassed.Slightly more girls than boys feel frustrated, while significantly more boys are scared as a result of cyberbulllying.
According to the AP-MTV survey, 56% of those who have been bullied reported that they were “very” or “extremely” upset the most recent time they were targeted. Moreover, young people who have been bullied were twice as likely to have received treatment from a mental health professional and nearly 3 times more likely to have considered dropping out of school!
Cyberbulllying and self esteem
Research done by the Cyberbulllying Research Center shows that victims have lower self-esteem than non victims.
Cyberbulllying and suicide
Middle-school victims of cyberbulllying are more apt to commit suicide. The AP-MTV survey found that 8% of cyberbulllying victims and 12% of sexting victims have considered ending their own life compared to 3% of people who have not been bullied and were not involved in sexting.
But do they think before they act?GG
It’s also interesting to note that according to the AP-MTV survey, only about half (51%) of young people say they have thought the idea that things they post online could come back to hurt them later. In other words – about half of the young people do not think before they post!
Cyberbulllying is a serious issue. Click here to find out what you can do to prevent it.
- Sources:
- 2009 AP-MTV Digital Abuse Study
- Cyberbullying Research Center
- Ipsos poll for Reuters News, January, 2012
- Cyberbullying, a Pew Internet & American Life Project report, June 27, 2007
- New research on cyberbullying highlights the role of parents in prevention , Anti Bullying Alliance
- Stop Cyberbulllying before it starts – a National Crime Prevention Council publication
Tags: cyberbulllying, statistics, suicide, self esteem, feelings - See more at: http://www.puresight.com/Cyberbullying/cyber-bullying-statistics.html#sthash.ZhS6Vo9N.dpuf
-----------
UNITED KINGDOM- BULLYING
Internet Safety Training and Anti Bullying Training
Informative • Interactive • Interesting
EyePAT CIC is a Not for Profit Community Interest Company who are dedicated to developing awareness of risks associated with internet and mobile use and providing education and support on safe usage.
Internet Safety Training & Anti-Bullying Training
To help fund the Not for
Proft work carried out by EyePAT they provide Internet Safety Training
and Anti-Bullying Training to Children, Teachers, Schools, Social
Workers, Foster-Carers, Adults in the work place and Managerial Staff in
Companies all around the UK. To find out more about the Internet
Safety Training or Anti-bullying Training available please take a look
at some of the most popular workshops.
Earlier this month, 14-year-old Hannah
Smith, from Leicestershire, was found hanged. Her father said she had
been sent abusive messages on social networking site, ask.fm.
Please help us stop more children unnecessarily taking their own lives.
If you bully me it's about your problems, not mine. Get HELP!
For more about Internet Safety Training or Anti-Bullying Training please check out the Films, Books, Research Papers, News Articles, Media & Press Releases, Surveys, Policy Documents & AUP's, BECTA Flowcharts , Teaching Aids, Online Games, Guidance on How to Set up Parental Controls, plus Dictionaries of Teen Chat Terminology
You can also
find out more about our work delivering online safety and anti-bullying
training to Schools, Social Workers, Foster Carers and other
organisations who work with children and vulnerable adults and our
Internet Safety or Anti-Bullying workshops
for businesses, help them deal with the rising problem of work place
bullying by reading the many different sections on these subjects,
available throughout our website.
The Launch of our Internet Safety Training & Anti-Bullying Training Workshops!
The online safety training and anti-bullying training workshops were officially launched at the The Senedd Building in Cardiff on Thursday July 18th. The Internet Safety & Anti-Bullying event was sponsored by Jane Hutt AM.
If you have specific requirements for Internet Safety Training or Anti-Bullying Training please feel free to contact us for more details.
http://www.eyepat.org/
CANADA:
Amanda Todd's Suicide Story (Original Video)
<iframe
width="960" height="720"
src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/wBZLqd_ItNM"
frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
COMMENT:
People
say 'suicide is cowardly' no, making someone? feel that low to commit suicide
is cowardly.
Oh Sweet
Jesus, Mother Mary and Joseph...Damm these tween, teen youth bullies to
Hell.... damm their families, their dogs, their dirt.....
Port
Coquitlam girl who posted bullying video takes own life
Andrea
Woo and Wendy Stueck
Vancouver
— The Globe and Mail
Last
updated Friday, Oct. 12 2012, 2:32 PM EDT
Like
many teenagers, Amanda Todd struggled to fit in. The skinny girl with long
brown hair didn’t have many close friends and often ate lunch alone. She was
bullied – in person and online.
A
product of her generation, Amanda turned to the Internet to express her
frustrations, licking her wounds where they were often dealt. In a
heartbreaking video posted on YouTube last month, the 15-year-old revealed boys
had taken advantage of her, girls had assaulted her and, after a failed suicide
attempt, bullies allegedly egged her on to try again.
On
Wednesday, the teenager was found dead in a Port Coquitlam, B.C. home – the
victim of an apparent suicide. Her death caused a firestorm of reaction at the
highest levels, including a video message from B.C.’s Premier.
“I just
heard about Amanda and I want to say to everyone who loved her, to all her
family and friends, how sorry I am for her loss,” said Christy Clark in a video
message also posted on YouTube. “No one deserves to be bullied. No one earns
it, no one asks for it, it isn’t a rite of passage. Bullying has to stop.”
The
Coquitlam School District has vowed to update its code of conduct policy to
include a focus on social media, an avenue in which much of Amanda’s bullying
took place.
Amanda
didn’t speak in her video, but rather flipped through dozens of white flash
cards, on which she wrote. Over the span of 10 minutes, she painted a portrait
of a vulnerable girl who wanted desperately to be liked.
“In 7th
grade I would go with friends on webcam,” one card read. “Meet and talk to new
people. Then got called stunning, beautiful, perfect... Then wanted me to
flash... so I did.”
A
screen-grabbed image would later be circulated to “everyone”: friends, family,
schoolmates. A Facebook account was created with the image as its profile
photo.
Girls
continued to taunt her. Through the flash cards, Amanda told of an incident in
which girls threw her to the ground and punched her as others filmed the
assault.
She
developed anxiety, depression and panic disorder. She got into using drugs and
alcohol. She started cutting. She took anti-depressants and went to counselling.
The teen said she transferred schools several times, but her tormenters would
always find her.
“Why do
I get this?” she wrote on one card. “I messed up but why follow me? I left your
guys city... I’m constantly crying now. Everyday I think why am I still here?”
Cheryl
Quinton, a spokeswoman for School District 43, confirmed Amanda was a Grade 10
student at Coquitlam Alternate Basic Education, and that the school learned of
her death on Wednesday evening. Ms. Quinton said she was not able to discuss
specifics of Amanda’s school history, citing privacy regulations, but said the
school district had been aware of the video prior to her death.
“District
personnel were aware of the YouTube video prior to last night and supports were
in place for the student at the school and at the community level,” Ms. Quinton
said. “What typically happens is when something is brought to a school’s
attention by a student, they will identify and work with the student and family
about what supports are needed.
“So I do
understand she had school supports in place as well as community supports in
place.”
However,
the school district will update its code of conduct policy to include a focus
on social media.
“Right
now it’s just protocols on appropriate Internet use, but we’ve been working on
a document ... that will include social media, because that’s changed so
quickly,” Ms. Quinton said. The B.C. Coroners Service will now investigate the
death, which will eventually be reviewed by its Child Death Review Unit as
well.
“In most
cases like this, there are a number of causative factors and they’re quite
multifactorial,” said Coroner Barbara McClintock.
“We’ll
look at family, we’ll look at school, we’ll look at friends and social stuff.
We’ll look at mental health, if there were any [mental health issues].”
On
Thursday, condolences and tributes to Amanda quickly spread across social
media, the very medium that often brought her down.
The G
Force Gym, of which Amanda was a former member as a Vancouver All Stars
cheerleader, posted a statement on its Facebook page saying the teen’s loss was
felt.
“I ask
that we all watch her video and share her story so that her loss is not in
vain", the statement read. “Allow this to be her legacy. Allow us to all
look around and find the next Amanda before another precious spunky teenager is
lost.”
Strangers
took to several Facebook pages created in memory of Amanda.
“Never
knew you Amanda but I am so deeply sorry for your pain,” wrote Prudence
Davidson.
“I am
horrified by how hard you were treated,” wrote Carla Jung. “People have no idea
how hard words can hit.”
------------------
MY
FAVOURITE ACTOR ON THE PLANET: MORGAN
FREEMAN SAYS .... attacking people with disibilities is the lowest display of
power I can think of....
SARAH'S
VIDEO:
NOVA
SCOTIA: STAMP OUT EVIL BULLIES....
the evil world of bullies who are allowed to
live on the net- and destroy children,
tweens, teens and youngbloods- we are infested with them.... and now it's time- to whipe our world clean of this filth and
evil......imo.... this blessed little girl....
... my
best friend growing up had polio and only one arm and leg.... my friend who
stood so tall at my wedding was in a wheelchair.... my best friend and roommate
was gay..... and my friends were colour blind... and kind...... brilliant,
saucy and equality meant and means just that..... we are a product of the 60s,
70s and had children of the 80s....
...social
equality and job safety- etc. caused many of us to lose promotions... and fight
constant battles to create progress and fairness in the workplace.... and the
scars are visible and invisible.... WE DESERVE BETTER BEHAVIOUR THAN THIS FROM
OUR CHILDREN AND THEIRS..... we truly do..... LET'S DUMP AMERICAN 'ME, ME,
PRETTY, PRETTY ME...VALUES.... and get back to being Canadian and likin our
differences and uniqueness like we used to.... please.... We love u Sarah....
we love u...
--------------------------------
Billy
Currington's life... and his country music debut "Walk A little Straighter
Daddy..... says more about it all... and touched children and youngbloods from
ANON etc. than any song or video... it's
the truth music... raw... real and righteous... and billy currington nails
it.... with a song... he started writing this song that stole our hearts....
and broke them... at 12 years of age...
Boy have
I been there.... on both sides of the table.... this simple stunning song and
that 'voice'... and that billy currington with the southern soul that only can
be born to you.... Georgia's backwoods country boy.... told it like it is....
for all the youngbloods.... who know real and raw... and the truth song....
Billy Currington will always have tarnished angels like him.... for fans.....
because we walked.... his talk.... and lived to tell the tale.... (how many of us tarnished angels have lived
this life.... the drinking... the violence... and the tip toe around freaked
out adults who are supposed to lead us)..... TEARS AND PRAYERS BABY... TEARS
AND PRAYERS...
Billy
Currington- WALK A LITTLE STRAIGHTER DADDY
CLASSIFIED
TEACHES US ALL A LESSON WITH THIS INCREDIBLE SONG..... OF THE FACT.... THAT
LIFE WORKS .... IF U WORK IT.... and life can get better ...if you empower
yourself to do so.( david myles-
Canada's buddy holly voice wrapped in Canada's flag accompanies....
moving video (cried- seen it...and lived it)....
Classified
- The Day Doesn't Die
For each
an every youngblood.... please know millions and millions of us love and
support you.... you are NOT throwaway
toys or trashdrops.... each and every one of you is a treasure as individual
and as beautiful as a raindrop with the sun sparkling on it so beautifuly it
takes our breath away...... each and every one of you are 'would be' artists,
musicians, poets, scientists, inventors, spiritual guiders, history and keepers
of the written word... so many things... all things... and we love you... admire
you.... please don't give up on us.... we need you terribly. Thank you Jimmy Wayne.... and all your
friends along the way..... lonliness
and hoplessness and despair knows no race, colour, creed or orientiation...
it's just a soul stealer..... let's take back our world ... and our beautiful
youngbloods.... each and every one...
IT'S NOT
WHERE YOU'VE BEEN- IT'S WHERE YOU'RE GOING
Jimmy
Wayne.mov (Please help homeless kids
and youngbloods- USA 1.7 Million (much higher/Canada hundreds of thousands and
so on)
2007-
Central Kings High School- Nova Scotia
Bullied
student tickled pink by schoolmates' T-shirt campaign
Last
Updated: Tuesday, September 18, 2007 | 11:25 PM ET
CBC News
YOUR
VIEW: What creative ways of dealing with bullies have you seen put into
practice?
Video
Tom Murphy reports for CBC-TV (Runs:
2:26)Play: Real Media »Play: QuickTime »
Two Nova
Scotia students are being praised across North America for the way they turned
the tide against the bullies who picked on a fellow student for wearing pink.
The
victim — a Grade 9 boy at Central Kings Rural High School in the small
community of Cambridge — wore a pink polo shirt on his first day of school.
David
Shepherd, left, and Travis Price decided to spread word of their 'sea of pink'
campaign on the internet.
(CBC)
Bullies
harassed the boy, called him a homosexual for wearing pink and threatened to
beat him up, students said.
Two
Grade 12 students — David Shepherd and Travis Price — heard the news and
decided to take action.
"I
just figured enough was enough," said Shepherd.
They
went to a nearby discount store and bought 50 pink shirts, including tank tops,
to wear to school the next day.
'Sea of
pink' support
Then the
two went online to e-mail classmates to get them on board with their
anti-bullying cause that they dubbed a "sea of pink."
But a
tsunami of support poured in the next day.
Not only
were dozens of students outfitted with the discount tees, but hundreds of
students showed up wearing their own pink clothes, some head-to-toe.
The two
Grade 12 students show off the pink shirts they wore to school.
(CBC)
When the
bullied student, who has never been identified, walked into school to see his
fellow students decked out in pink, some of his classmates said it was a
powerful moment. He may have even blushed a little.
"Definitely
it looked like there was a big weight lifted off his shoulders. He went from
looking right depressed to being as happy as can be," said Shepherd.
And
there's been nary a peep from the bullies since, which Shepherd says just goes
to show what a little activism will do.
"If
you can get more people against them … to show that we're not going to put up
with it and support each other, then they're not as big as a group as they
think are," he says.
The
students' "sea of pink" campaign did not go unnoticed outside the
province. U.S. talk show host Ellen DeGeneres expressed interest in their
story, and other schools are talking about holding their own "pink
day."
"It's
been totally overwhelming for us. I mean we're just two local boys and I mean
we're getting calls from like Alaska and e-mails. It's just phenomenal the
support that we've gotten from across the globe," said Price.
The
school principal, understandably, was flush with pride.
"You're
always hearing about the youth of the world and how bad things are. Well,
they're not that bad," said Stephen Pearl.
--------------------
Suffer
the little children
Youngsters
who've endured abuse or neglect need time, treatment and lots of love to
overcome trauma
Features
writer
Lois
Legge
investigates
the struggles and ongoing challenges facing children traumatized by abuse or
neglect
T HEIR
LITTLE heads tenderly touch. And sweet smiles shine through the cherished
family photo.
Two
boys, 4 1/ 2 and 5, in dress shirts and ties - seemingly happy, perfectly safe.
But not
long ago, one of them didn't smile at all - so noticeably that people always
asked his adoptive parents why.
He
screamed, inconsolably, through the night.
He
banged his head against walls.
He
ripped out his own hair.
He was
afraid of any kind of change.
His
younger brother, "a blank slate," didn't return kisses or hugs.
"Didn't
understand affection."
"Didn't,"
says his adoptive mother, Marsha Robinson-Bourque, "feel joy."
These
kinds of extreme behaviours or abnormal affectations aren't uncommon among
children traumatized by abuse or neglect.
In fact,
beatings and instability and the kind of neglect that leaves children unfed or
unclothed or unloved does something to their developing brains. It actually
stops the reasoning part of the organ from fully developing, stops normal
responses from happening.
"Danger
brain," the emotional brain, takes over. And finding success with
traditional methods of parenting becomes as elusive as lost memory or
recaptured youth.
Robinson-Bourque
and her husband, Mark Bourque, learned this only after long, "heartbreaking"
nights trying to calm their oldest son from unknown terrors - when he was
"just absolutely screaming," she recalls, "like he was not even
there."
Or,
countless days trying to help both boys - whom they fostered, then adopted -
feel some semblance of safe.
They
struggled, feeling confused and helpless, until finally finding a parenting
program at the IWK Health Centre that they say has transformed their lives.
The
Bourques can't reveal - for reasons of safety and confidentiality - exactly
what their children endured.
They
know some of it. But not all - "probably . . . a small portion of
it," says Mark Bourque.
But
"both of our boys were quite traumatized," his wife says. Local
psychologist Kristen McLeod leads the IWK parenting sessions, specifically for
people who've fostered or adopted children removed from their biological
parents and placed into protective provincial care.
She's
also counselled children who've been beaten or witnessed domestic abuse or been
so neglected they've lived in rooms with feces on the walls.
Situations
faced by other kids - before they were placed "in the system" - are
like a sad litany of desperation and despair: five-year-olds regularly changing
their younger siblings' diapers, toddlers locked in rooms while their parents
go out partying for the night.
"It's
a gamut of suffering," says McLeod, who works exclusively with children
who are, or have been, in the child welfare system.
"And
there's not a lot of kids in permanent care and custody that haven't had their
fair share" of it. So much so that even when they're finally safe, these
kids still live in fear - see danger in strangers' smiles, threats even in
praise.
"If
you have a child who's potentially been abused, somebody could be smiling and
hitting them at the same time," says Robinson- Bourque.
"Their
poor little brains don't understand emotions like they should. It's a learned
thing. They weren't taught what happy felt like. They weren't taught what sad
felt like. So when they act out, even when you try to say to them 'Are you
sad?' they don't know what that means."
Before
they could help their "beautiful little boys," who aren't
biologically related, the Bourques had to understand what their behaviour
meant.
Why did
their youngest screech at the top of his lungs if adults looked him in the
face?
Why did
their oldest rock back and forth and make strange noises, like "un, un,
un, un?"
Why did
he have public tantrums so loud that, as RobinsonBourque recalls,
"everyone in the building knew we were there."
"What
the research is increasingly showing is that the trauma/ neglect . . . alters
the way their brain develops," explains McLeod, who works at the IWK Child
Welfare Mental Health Clinic in Lower Sackville.
"So
their emotional regulation skills are poor - everything from having trouble
sitting . . . to having trouble managing their frustrations. So if another
child gets frustrated, they might know to go to an adult and seek support. Our
kids are more likely to act out aggressively, for example, to hit another
child.
"They're
acting up a lot in school, they're having difficulty being able to stay in the
regular classroom setting, they're getting into fights at recess, they might be
into harmful behaviours if they're teens, so we see more drug and alcohol use
and school suspensions . . . and we also see sensory concerns, kids who
struggle to manage loud rooms and really the gamut.
"Kids
have general difficulties managing arousals of any kind."
They
also face extreme stress, she says. The so-called "fight or flight"
button is always on, always on high alert.
"They
don't trust other people."
So
McLeod tries to teach their adoptive or foster parents how to build that trust
and how to trust themselves enough to help the children heal.
Discipline,
or at least the traditional forms like timeouts and grounding or removing
privileges, isn't as important for these parents as soothing their children
and making them feel safe.
"We
kind of tried the traditional raising of kids and when it doesn't work, you're
kind of like 'OK, I don't know what to do from here,' " says Mark Bourque.
"So
it was more of teaching us new strategies, new things to try that were . . .
not what you would intuitively do."
Many of
these children, even the older children, are actually much younger
developmentally than they are chronologically, McLeod says.
They
haven't learned to "selfsoothe," to calm themselves in everyday
upsets.
So, in
some ways, they're more like toddlers than their actual five- or six- or even
16-year-old selves.
McLeod's
classes teach parents or caregivers how to react accordingly - how to, most
importantly, stay calm in the face of tantrums and turmoil, and "not to
take it personally."
Just
recently, Robinson-Bourque found herself soothing her oldest boy after a
particularly trying couple of weeks taking him to and from daycare - a
tumultuous transition after he'd been home for a long Christmas break; a
high-alert situation for a child who sees danger in change. "Dropping him
off in the morning was a nightmare," she recalls.
"Picking
him up could take 45 minutes. He would just absolutely lose it. He would try
to break the window out of the car, he would try to undo his seatbelt, it was
taking us an extra hour to get home.
"There
was a trigger. He was home for an extended period for vacation, then he had to
transition back to daycare, which is a change. He doesn't do well with change,
it kind of takes him back to that (feeling of) life is unpredictable.
"
'Why is it different? I was home, now why do I have to go back?' "So when
we got home, I sat with him on the couch. . . . I held him almost like you'd
hold a baby and we wrapped him in a blanket and we rocked and we talked and we
comforted and we hugged and cuddled and let him calm down and feel safe.
"So
as much as you're angry because it took an extra hour to get home from work and
you are just trying to struggle with understanding why is he doing this, we
understand from the program why he acts out, why it's extreme. We don't take
it personally."
And
while such outbursts still occur, temper tantrums are far fewer in malls and
cars and the Halifax-area home that used to be so full of chaos.
A lot of
the sadness has faded away too.
The couple's
youngest, the one who used to be "like a blank slate," who
"didn't feel joy," now "comes running - open arms, gives you big
hugs and kisses and goes 'Love you, mommy!' " his mom says.
And the
oldest finally smiles.
(For
more information, contact kristen.mcleod@iwk.nshealth.ca.) (llegge@herald.ca)
'What
the research is increasingly showing is that the trauma/neglect . . .
alters
the way their brain develops. So their emotional regulation skills are poor -
everything from having trouble sitting . . . to having trouble managing their
frustrations. So if another child gets frustrated, they might know to go to an
adult and seek support. Our kids are more likely to act out aggressively, for
example, to hit another child.' KRISTEN McLEOD
IWK
psychologist
---------------
Bully
trailer 2012 HD March - Watch NOW trailer HOT MOVIE
Bully
doc buoyed by teen's petition, PG rating in B.C.
CBC News
Posted: Mar 7, 2012 4:56 PM ET Last Updated: Mar 7, 2012 5:52 PM ET Read 1
comments1
The documentary Bully examines the epidemic of
bullying at U.S. schools and youth groups trying to combat it. (YouTube)
Harvey
Weinstein's Bully sparks movie-rating row A teen activist has collected more
than 200,000 signatures on a petition urging U.S. officials to change the R
rating of the documentary Bully, while the film has received a PG rating in
British Columbia.
Katy
Butler, 17, who lives in the U.S., has been urging the Motion Picture
Association of America (MPAA) to change the film's rating to PG-13 so that
young people can see it.
Bully
exposes the epidemic of bullying in U.S. schools by following five victims and
their experiences over the school year.
Butler
met with MPAA officials in Sherman Oaks, Calif., on Wednesday and delivered
four boxes containing the signatures she collected online. Talk show host Ellen
DeGeneres has also supported the rating-change campaign.
MPAA
representative Joan Graves said though Bully is a "wonderful film,"
the organization's primary responsibility is to provide information to parents
about films' content.
The
group gave the documentary an R rating because Bully includes profanity in some
schoolyard scenes. The rating means that audience members under 17 require a
parent or guardian to accompany them.
Movie
mogul Harvey Weinstein has been vocal in protesting the restrictive rating,
which also means the Lee Hirsch film could not be screened in U.S. middle and
high schools.
'Coarse
language' warning included in B.C.
Meanwhile,
Bully has received a PG rating in B.C., according to the movie's Canadian
distributor, Alliance Films. In Canada, movie ratings are set by film boards in
each province or territory.
Bully's
official rating in B.C. includes an additional warning of "coarse
language; theme of bullying."
"I'm
so humbled and incredibly inspired by the collective voices across the U.S. and
Canada about this film. Last night, I learned of the B.C. board's decision to
grant Bully a PG-rating. I am thrilled that kids of all ages can now join their
parents, teachers, social work advocates and leaders to bring about change for
this deeply important cause," Hirsch said in a statement.
A PG
classification advises parental guidance and notes that the content may not be
suitable for all children. However, there is no age restriction for viewing the
film.
Bully
opens in select theatres across Canada on April 6.
MY
FAVOURITE ACTOR ON THE PLANET: MORGAN
FREEMAN SAYS .... attacking people with disibilities is the lowest display of
power I can think of....
SARAH'S
VIDEO:
NOVA
SCOTIA: STAMP OUT EVIL BULLIES....
the evil world of bullies who are allowed to
live on the net- and destroy children,
tweens, teens and youngbloods- we are infested with them.... and now it's
time- to whipe our world clean of this
filth and evil......imo.... this blessed little girl....
... my
best friend growing up had polio and only one arm and leg.... my friend who
stood so tall at my wedding was in a wheelchair.... my best friend and roommate
was gay..... and my friends were colour blind... and kind...... brilliant,
saucy and equality meant and means just that..... we are a product of the 60s,
70s and had children of the 80s....
...social
equality and job safety- etc. caused many of us to lose promotions... and fight
constant battles to create progress and fairness in the workplace.... and the
scars are visible and invisible.... WE DESERVE BETTER BEHAVIOUR THAN THIS FROM
OUR CHILDREN AND THEIRS..... we truly do..... LET'S DUMP AMERICAN 'ME, ME,
PRETTY, PRETTY ME...VALUES.... and get back to being Canadian and likin our
differences and uniqueness like we used to.... please.... We love u Sarah....
we love u...
--------------------------------
Celebrity
Justin
Bieber anti-bullying video released
Justin
Bieber stars in new anti-bullying PSA
<iframe
width="1280" height="720"
src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/xzVCjADwBUw"
frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
Frank
Eltman
Mineola,
N.Y. — The Associated Press
Published
Wednesday, Oct. 10 2012, 1:23 PM EDT
Last
updated Thursday, Oct. 11 2012, 2:52 AM EDT
Bieber
releases anti-cyberbullying video
AP Video
Published
Thursday, Oct. 11 2012, 2:52 AM EDT
Last
updated Thursday, Oct. 11 2012, 2:52 AM EDT
Justin
Bieber's new anti-cyberbullying video helped his manager and a record executive
resolve a legal predicament. The video released by a New York prosecutor is
part of a plea deal settling misdemeanor charges filed after a fan frenzy at a
mall in 2009.
Back to
Article Justin Bieber anti-bullying video released
A New
York prosecutor is releasing a new anti-cyberbullying video by Justin Bieber.
The pop
star recorded the video as part of a deal that resolved misdemeanour charges
against one of his managers and a record executive.
A 2009
Long Island mall frenzy began when more than 3,000 excited girls turned up at a
clothing store to see Bieber sign autographs.
video
Video:
Bieber releases anti-cyberbullying video
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USA- BULLYING
Bullying: some new facts and figures
There’s a lot of information in the media and on the social web about bullying, but it’s hard to get a sense of what the facts are. Is bullying really an epidemic? Is it a growing problem, or simply and old problem gaining new, widespread recognition? How is bullying today different than it used to be?This interesting piece makes an argument for bullying as an endemic problem defying easy solutions:
The National Crime Prevention Council states, “Although bullying was once considered a rite of passage, parents, educators and community leaders now see bullying as a devastating form of abuse that can have long-term effects on youthful victims, robbing them of self-esteem, isolating them from their peers, causing them to drop out of school and even prompting health problems and suicide.” That said, it is important to acknowledge that our schools and other institutions have been relentless in their efforts to stop bullying.The article offers some compelling statistics courtesy of the U.S. National Institute of Health, SAFE, Tony Bartoli :
As a community, though, there is much more that we need to do to eliminate bullying. Getting involved is the first step.
- Every 30 minutes a teenager attempts suicide due to bullying.
- About 47 teens are bullied every five minutes. (Tweet this.)
- Victims of cyber bullying show more signs of depression than other bullying victims.
- Cyber bullying is on the rise in dramatic numbers; it is relentless and more frightening if the bully is anonymous.
- There are about 282,000 students who are reportedly attacked in high schools in our nation each month.
- 71 percent of students report bullying as an ongoing problem.
- The leading cause of death among children under the age of 14 is suicide.
- “Bullycide” is the new term for suicide as a result of being bullied.
- Teens in grades 6 through 10 are most likely to be involved in activities related to bullying.
- Almost half of all students fear harassment or bullying in the bathroom.
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