I WAS A PAEDOPHILE'S DREAM...
Martin's Hope
Martin Arnold Kruze
1962-1987
Martin Arnold Kruze who told the story of his horrendous abuse at Maple Leaf Gardens- COMMITED SUICIDE- at tender 23 yrs of age- AT THE LITTLE BIT OF JAIL TIME THE PAEDOPHILE MONSTERS GOT.... Dr. Michael Irving built the ONLY.....Children's Abused Surviivors Healing Monument- which is in Toronto, Ontario- Canada
http://www.irvingstudios.com/child_abuse_survivor_monument/Martin_Kruze.htm
Martin Kruze- I was a Paedophile's Dream- young hockey player- 3 days after PAEDOPHILE'S 2 YEAR VERDICT- young hockey play Martin Kruze was so distraught = he commited suicide
Martin Kruze on Reaching Out Child Abuse Monument- TORONTO, CANADA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MuozbnNmobQ
COMMENT:
One victim, Brian Cills never received a single penny of the? compansation money that was promised to him by the Gardens.
We are wondering if any of the other victims actual received any compansation that was awarded to them.
Or should they all just go and jump off a bridge too.
Please comment to Brian Cills,
if you are one of these vitims.
Thank you.
AND..
Martin Harold Kruze who told the story of his horrendous abuse at Maple Leaf Gardens- COMMITED SUICIDE- at tender 23 yrs of age- AT THE LITTLE BIT OF JAIL TIME THE PAEDOPHILE MONSTERS GOT.... Dr. Michael Irving built the ONLY.....Children's Abused Surviivors Healing Monument- which is in Toronto, Ontario- Canada
http://www.irvingstudios.com/child_abuse_survivor_monument/Martin_Kruze.htm
HERO - HERO PAEDOPHILE ABUSED SURVIVOR- THE VICTOR OVER THE MONSTERS
Maple Leaf Gardens sex abuse victim revisits rink
Man assaulted as a child at Maple Leaf Gardens returns with his hockey team
CBC News Last Updated: Sep 7, 2013 10:31 PM E
A former victim of convicted Maple Leaf Gardens child molester Gordon Stuckless returned to the arena for the first time today, reclaiming the rink as the new home ice for his junior A hockey club.
The Mattamy Athletic Centre, formerly the Maple Leaf Gardens, is the new home to the Ryerson Rams. Allan Donnan, general manager of the Predators junior A hockey team, will also host 42 games this season at the arena.The Mattamy Athletic Centre, formerly the Maple Leaf Gardens, is the new home to the Ryerson Rams. Allan Donnan, general manager of the Predators junior A hockey team, will also host 42 games this season at the arena. (Tim Wharnsby/CBC)
Allan Donnan was among dozens of boys sexually assaulted decades ago by the former Gardens usher in the 1960s, '70s and '80s.
Now a grown man, Donnan returned Saturday afternoon to the arena that has haunted him for years, this time to watch the puck drop at the historic venue as the general manager of the Toronto Predators junior A hockey team.
'So much was locked in this building and today we unlocked the door, and we came back in, and we came in the front door.'—Allan Donnan, survivor of sex abuse and general manager of the Toronto Predators
"The young men that walked in with me today, said, 'We got your back, we got your back,' and that made it all worthwhile," he said.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/story/2013/09/07/toronto-gardens-allan-donnan-stuckless.html
--------------------
AND...
Martin Harold Kruze who told the story of his horrendous abuse at Maple Leaf Gardens- COMMITED SUICIDE- at tender 23 yrs of age- AT THE LITTLE BIT OF JAIL TIME THE PAEDOPHILE MONSTERS GOT.... Dr. Michael Irving built the ONLY.....Children's Abused Surviivors Healing Monument- which is in Toronto, Ontario- Canada
http://www.irvingstudios.com/child_abuse_survivor_monument/Martin_Kruze.htm
Martin Kruze- I was a Paedophile's Dream- young hockey player- 3 days after PAEDOPHILE'S 2 YEAR VERDICT- young hockey play Martin Kruze was so distraught = he commited suicide
Martin Kruze on Reaching Out Child Abuse Monument- TORONTO, CANADA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MuozbnNmobQ
COMMENT:
One victim, Brian Cills never received a single penny of the? compansation money that was promised to him by the Gardens.
We are wondering if any of the other victims actual received any compansation that was awarded to them.
Or should they all just go and jump off a bridge too.
Please comment to Brian Cills,
if you are one of these vitims.
Thank you.
AND..
Martin Harold Kruze who told the story of his horrendous abuse at Maple Leaf Gardens- COMMITED SUICIDE- at tender 23 yrs of age- AT THE LITTLE BIT OF JAIL TIME THE PAEDOPHILE MONSTERS GOT.... Dr. Michael Irving built the ONLY.....Children's Abused Surviivors Healing Monument- which is in Toronto, Ontario- Canada
http://www.irvingstudios.com/child_abuse_survivor_monument/Martin_Kruze.htm
HERO - HERO PAEDOPHILE ABUSED SURVIVOR- THE VICTOR OVER THE MONSTERS
Maple Leaf Gardens sex abuse victim revisits rink
Man assaulted as a child at Maple Leaf Gardens returns with his hockey team
CBC News Last Updated: Sep 7, 2013 10:31 PM E
A former victim of convicted Maple Leaf Gardens child molester Gordon Stuckless returned to the arena for the first time today, reclaiming the rink as the new home ice for his junior A hockey club.
The Mattamy Athletic Centre, formerly the Maple Leaf Gardens, is the new home to the Ryerson Rams. Allan Donnan, general manager of the Predators junior A hockey team, will also host 42 games this season at the arena.The Mattamy Athletic Centre, formerly the Maple Leaf Gardens, is the new home to the Ryerson Rams. Allan Donnan, general manager of the Predators junior A hockey team, will also host 42 games this season at the arena. (Tim Wharnsby/CBC)
Allan Donnan was among dozens of boys sexually assaulted decades ago by the former Gardens usher in the 1960s, '70s and '80s.
Now a grown man, Donnan returned Saturday afternoon to the arena that has haunted him for years, this time to watch the puck drop at the historic venue as the general manager of the Toronto Predators junior A hockey team.
'So much was locked in this building and today we unlocked the door, and we came back in, and we came in the front door.'—Allan Donnan, survivor of sex abuse and general manager of the Toronto Predators
"The young men that walked in with me today, said, 'We got your back, we got your back,' and that made it all worthwhile," he said.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/story/2013/09/07/toronto-gardens-allan-donnan-stuckless.html
--------------------
TODAY
PAEDOPHILES- we drew the bow on this monster way back when- he's still alive walking around raping little boys and youth of Canada???
SEPTEMBER 2013
Convicted Maple Leaf Gardens abuser faces 70 new sex charges
CBCCBC – 22 hours ago..
Gordon Stuckless was re-arrested this morning — his second arrest in two months — and faces 15 new charges relating to alleged sexual assaults involving boys during the 1960s and 1970s in various locations in Toronto, including Maple Leaf Gardens, police say.
Stuckless, who was convicted in 1997 for sexually abusing 24 boys when he worked at the Gardens between 1969 and 1988, was charged Friday in connection with five new male victims, said Detective Const. Roger Villaflor of the Toronto police sex crimes unit.
The alleged incidents happened in the 1960s and late 1970s, when Stuckless volunteered at local sports clubs as a coach and was employed at Maple Leaf Gardens, said Villaflor.
"Stuckless befriended the boys who were between nine and 13 years of age," he said during a news conference Friday. "Stuckless sexually assaulted them at various locations within the City of Toronto, and also at Maple Leaf Gardens."
On Friday, Toronto police charged Stuckless with:
Nine counts of Indecent assault — male.
Five counts of gross indecency.
Buggery.
However, in addition to the five new male victims, Toronto police have referred other complainants where the alleged incidents happened outside Toronto to York Regional Police, he said.
York Regional Police are conducting their own investigation, Villaflor added.
Stuckless spent a considerable amount of time in York Region as a teacher and volunteer with minor sports clubs, Villaflor said.
Friday's arrest and new round of charges came a month after Toronto police laid fresh charges against Stuckless, 64. Those charges included six counts of indecently assaulting a male, one count of assault, and another count of possession of a weapon or an imitation, police said.
He was released on bail on those charges, and re-arrested Friday morning, said Toronto police Const. Wendy Drummond.
Last month's charges relate to allegations that in the late 1970s Stuckless assaulted an 11-year-old boy and a 13-year-old boy in Toronto at a school, community centre and many other locations, police say.
At the time, Stuckless, originally from Newfoundland, was a teacher's assistant and volunteered at a local community centre and sports clubs in Toronto, police say.
Villaflor said Friday that even with the new allegations being brought forward, investigators believe there are still more victims.
Stuckless was convicted in 1997 of sexually abusing 24 boys when he worked at the Gardens between 1969 and 1988. He served two-thirds of his sentence and was paroled in 2001.
---------------------
Child Predators on the Internet
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2Vkuj-1D80
10News Anchor Kimberly Hunt investigates child predators on the internet. She also gets unprecedented access from the FBI, to its investigation of NAMBLA.
Net Lingo & Child Safety: Decoding The Code
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5WWGQThw1o
Kidproof TV takes you on a quiz to see how much net lingo (sometimes called 'net slang') you really know. As a parent, understanding this unique cryptic online language is key in keeping your kids safe online.
To Catch a Predator Anonymous: Operation Darknet Hackers root out child pornographers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRn_DEVaGa0
Our manifesto:
All of our Releases/Hacks/Progress are located at:
* http://pastebin.com/u/opdarknet
Visit and support us at http://irc.lc/anonops/opdarknet
Donate securely with a Credit Card/Paypal/eCheck:
https://www.wepay.com/donate/OpDarkNet
Donate Bitcoins At:
1Zgcp37QGUgyTF3J4Rd8oVZzCG6jszZia
Justice is Expensive...
We are Anonymous.
We are Legion.
We do not forgive.
We do not forget.
Expect us.
--------------------
OUR CANADIAN SON.... we remember
Martin Kruze was raped by homosexuals Gordon Stuckless and George Hannah at the Toronto Mapleleaf Gardens. After years
of dealing with the pain and violation related to his sexual abuse, Martin Kruze committed suicide by jumping off the Don Valley
Bridge on October 30, 1997. The APA declined to talk about the trauma Martin Kruze went through when they talked about ways
because of martin and so many commiting suicide from the horrors of rape and abuse- as children- and those trying to get better- CANADA - Dr. Irving with Victors of abuse and those families who lost their sons and daughters to suicide- created the following miracle of healing 4 all:
CHILD ABUSE SURVIVOR MONUMENT- Toronto, Canada- 4 the victors over childabuse- and those who did NOT make it...
The Survivor Monument Project was active at its Birch Avenue studio from 1997 to 2003.
Survivor and supporter participation in creating the quilt squares of the Child Abuse Monument was completed in 2003. In May of 2005 The Survivor Monument Project finished its work at the Birch Studio. Dr. Irving has continued to be directly involved in the fine art bronze casting of the large Monument figures.
When funding permits, Dr. Irving will complete the bronze casting of the second "Reaching Out" figure.
http://www.irvingstudios.com/child_abuse_survivor_monument/index.html
Dr. Michael Irving led
sculpting and poetry
workshops to create the
materials of the Child
Abuse Survivor
Monument Project.
The sculpted quilt
squares and poetry of
the workshop
participants became the
resource material of the
project's many activities.
The four art and poetry
books linked to from this
web page tell the story
of: the confrontation with
the angst and legacy of
child abuse; the struggle
to find answers and
understanding; the
difficult journey of
healing; the value and
power of connecting with
others; the movement
into healing and
recovery; the freedoms
and victories that are the
rewards of
perseverance.
These books are
presented here to assist
others with understanding
and healing.
We are seeking a
publisher who would
publish these as art and
poetry books. Contact
Dr. Irving at
mci@irvingstudios.com
"HandPrints to Give Kids a Hand"
(PDF version of instructions for printing)
(PDF version of template page for printing)
Sculptor and Psychotherapist, Dr. Michael C. Irving is asking you to share his vision of "A massive visualization of the world we want for children" by letting your hand join others inside the "Reaching Out Child Abuse Monument."
Dr. Irving and the participants who collaborated with him to sculpt the quilt squares of the "Reaching Out" Monument shared a common desire that the Child Abuse Monument would be an extraordinary force assisting with helping survivors to heal and for the prevention of child abuse.
The sculpture above is the first completed bronze of two figures composing the "Reaching Out" monument vignette. The second figure will take another year to complete after funding is raised for the art foundry process.
Dr. Irving is using the first figure as the centre piece of the "Creating A New Reality" campaign to generate a massive "National Visualization of Healing and Prevention." Dr. Irving is asking people to draw an outline of their hand on a piece of paper and just sign their initials or write a message.
The HandPrint Visualizations can be for:
a.) Prevention of abuse;
b.) Support for survivors or
c.) Story telling and healing for yourself;
We have thousands of these hand drawings now. When both monument figures are done we will place all of the "Creating A New Reality" papers inside the two monument figures. Their energy and messages will serve for centuries as a national visualization creating healing and prevention. protect children.
A large space inside the Monument figures allow for the placement of hand outlines and messages on pieces of paper. People are asked to draw an outline of their hand on a piece of paper (8.5 inches by 11 inches) and write a message on or around the hand outline.
An outline of your hand on a regular piece of paper would be a wonderful contribution towards this visualized intention. Also, ask some of your friends, colleagues or family to make an outline of their hand and send for inclusion as a collective visualization in the monument. Instructions and directions for the "Creating A New Reality" Visualization can be found directly below:
Children at schools, shopping malls, churches and community centres gave Dr. Irving outlines of hands with messages for a collective visualization
of our intention to protect children.
The hand outlines and messages on this web page will be included inside the "Reaching Out" Child Abuse Monument as part of a "National Visualization" healing for survivors and prevention of child abuse".
Will your hand be there along side them?
Child Abuse,
You don't have to worry.
It Stops Now.
Nikko, age 11
Your hand outline and message can join thousands of other Canadians who have contributed to making the "Art" of the Child Abuse Monument.
Don’t abuse your kids.
Stop and give a hand.
Kids have feelings.
Don’t because kids are
humans.
I wish for child abuse to stop. I wish for peace.
Aaron, age9
I love being a Kid.
I think child abuse should stop and stop NOW!!!
Kyle, age 8
Why should child abuse happen. We don't want it happening, no one does. So, Don't do it.
Clair, age 11
Keep the peace in your home, school and in your HEART.
Shanese, age 10
Through 2008 until the fall of 2011
we are still accepting hand outlines
for placement inside the "Reaching Out" Child Abuse Monument
To contribute a "Create a New Reality Visualization" for placement inside The "Reaching Out" Child Abuse Monument.
1. Draw an outline of your hand on a piece of 8 1/2 x 11 paper or the back of your printout;
2. On or around the outline of your hand, write or draw message of:
** a .) Prevention of abuse;
** b.) Support for survivors or
** c.) Story telling and healing for yourself;
3. Send your personal "Creating A New Reality" HandPrint for the Child Abuse Monument to:
"Reaching Out" Child Abuse Monument c/o
Dr. Michael C. Irving
274 Rhodes Ave.
Toronto, Ontario
Canada, M4L 3A3
You can also "Create A New Reality" with a donation. You do not need to give a donation to contribute a hand, though your donations are greatly appreciated.
Even donations of $10.00 or $20.00 will help to bring the monument to schools, community centres and events for gather contributions for the "Creating A New Reality" Vision.
Cheques can be made out to The Survivor Monument Project and sent to the address above or donate online directly below.
Make a donation with PayPal or
donate with a major credit card through PayPal
HandPrint Visualizations
The "HandPrints" of the "Creating A New Reality" Vision can be a simple outline of a hand with an initial or name. If you want you can include a message or images. They serve as a written visualization of our intention to provide healing support for survivors and protection of children. As an extraordinary collective coming together of positive visualizations inside the "Reaching Out" Monument the Hands will be a force for change today and tomorrow.
At schools across the country children drew an outline of their hand and wrote a message.
Messages written on outlines of hands were displayed in shopping malls from the Atlantic to the Pacific. What a powerful "National Visualization".
http://www.irvingstudios.com/child_abuse_survivor_monument/studio_visits.htm
STORIES OF FEAR- OF CHILD ABUSE- ALL AROUND THE WORLD
He's Watching
Mysterious nights went by, slowly unnumbered,
While her innocent body lay in an enchantingly deep slumber.
A monster in the dark lurked about
Conjuring up evil, so for her, there was no way out.
He cast his evil spell that fathomed her soul.
No one was she to tell, when from her innocence he stole.
There’s nowhere to run and nowhere to hide.
He’s sneering, waiting, and watching.
Sighs of the dawn suddenly appear
and the secrets of the night are profoundly made clear.
King of the giants, with all of their knowledge, could not foresee
the woe, the pain and the misery.
Poison still lingers in the air.
No need to worry, for he is still there.
He’s sneering, waiting, and watching.
The sun begins to shine through the shadowy veil.
Time heals all wounds and life prevails.
The evil of the night no longer hoovers over her breast.
She can sleep without crying and fear is put to rest.
Her beauty is more captivating with each passing day,
Yet, taunting memories still creep in her way.
He’s sneering, waiting, and watching.
Pulled out of dreamland by an overwhelming fright,
Make him stop! What’s that sound? I’m scared!
Who keeps lurking in the night?
Her trembling heart is silenced by the refuge that is near.
Was it a dream or is he still there?
Her conscience is seared!
She knows he is still there,
Sneering, waiting and watching,
Somewhere?
By: Connie Lee/Founder/President of the FACSA Foundation
Springhill, LA.
STATISTICS ON CHILD ABUSE
IN CANADA
A child dies every week in Canada at the hands of a care-giver.
(Statistics Canada, 1980-89)
70% of children who are victims of homicide are killed before the age of 5.
(Statistics Canada, 1980-89)
80% of abusers are known to their child victims.
(Dr. Harriett MacMillan et al., McMaster University, J.A.M.A., July, 1997)
More than 90% of child abuse cases are unreported.
(The Gallup Organization, 1995)
1 out of every 3 female children, and 1 out of every 5 male children in Canada will be sexually abused before they reach adulthood.
(The National Clearinghouse on Family Violence, 1994)
Children with disabilities are 10 times more vulnerable to sexual abuse than non-disabled children.
(National Committee to Prevent Child Abuse, 1996)
BEWARE THE NIGHT
Beware! Beware this street laced
with hungry dogs
Impatiently licking their lips
in shadowy doorways
I hear them gnawing on the fragment
bones of ignorance and innocence
I am destined to be savaged
by a rabid dog,
for I walk unseen
close in the shadows of tall
building and I must surly
meet such beasts
But again if I seek the bright
openness of the neon lights,
green eyes from the bordering
malevolent darkness wait
to jump out to render me
Be vigilant friend if passing
you hear, echoing
from the blackened ally way,
de-vouring snarl
-- Beware! ----
Alison
RESPONDING TO THE VOICE OF CHILDREN
Dear Dr. Irving,
In recent weeks you attended Downtown Alternative School to discuss your Child Abuse Survivor Monument Project with the students. My child was one of those students and the effect your project had on her has prompted me to write you and express my thanks. The children made paper hands to put inside the monument with comments expressing their thoughts and feelings on the issue of child abuse.
Late that evening, when my child was in bed, she turned to me and asked if I knew about child abuse. She then told me about the project. The events of the day had a strong impact on her. She could not understand how people could be cruel to children.
We talked at length. My daughter would like to see the monument stand for thousands of years to let future generations know that the people of our time had a caring side, that we were aware of the suffering and tried to do something about it.
Something as simple as the making of a paper hand opened up a door to awareness for my eleven-year old child. For this gift, I thank you.
Elizabeth Sellwood, Mother
May 24, 1999
HANDPRINT SQUARE-
Incest
Deep in my core lies hidden
the seed of life -
lost amidst the pain
of someone else’s choice.
Incestuous abuse
ravages my childhood,
steals my future,
destroys my SELF.
Agony courses
through my veins:
Burning, Freezing,
Struggling, Debilitating.
There is power in my choice -
I choose to feel the pain,
to grieve the loss, to be sad;
to Live, to BE.
Ruth Cook
RUTH'S HANDPRINT
http://www.irvingstudios.com/child_abuse_survivor_monument/poetry/706A2_poem7b.htm#706a2
Traps
Traps are set for tiny things
Hopeless, small, with no wings.
Escape is not a question here
Shadows, shadows everywhere.
Scream the words that hold you tight
Take a leap into the night.
Babette Healy
BABETTE'S HANDPRINT
http://www.irvingstudios.com/child_abuse_survivor_monument/poetry/706A3_poem8f.htm#706a3
Silk Ribbons
My chains of bondage forced, not wanted
I am alone waiting for the key.
Please mommy help me...nothing, no one
Only silk ribbons in the breeze cascading from
my hair...pretty, but silent...helpless
Time -- loss -- found
Courage!
From my soul...I’m afraid, need to tell
Told! I live...free
to soar.
Tracy Kloske
Thread of Hope
Oh my soul screams in silence
I weep...my loss is so deep
Torn, ripped and thrown away
I am forgotten...no place in your world
Drowned in an instant - a moment lost forever
Holding on --- letting go
Suspended by a thread of hope
From hell to here -- here to the future
Anticipation - unknown
Tracy Kloske
TRACY'S HANDPRINT
http://www.irvingstudios.com/child_abuse_survivor_monument/poetry/706A4_poem5b.htm#706a4
Silenced Voice
I have no voice.
I draw in silence.
I speak through my drawings.
Our silent tears are overflowing with screaming pain,
Our Mother’s hate inflicted upon her child, for a lifetime to remain.
The Beast’s hand created too many tears.
For each tormented tear we created a child,
My voice of what I hear and see from so many children inside.
In my drawings you’ll see the torture we survived.
Please, Please don’t destroy my silent voice.
Keep it safe,
Protect it,
So we can share it.
Please, Please don’t throw out my silent voice.
You see, we must say "Hello" to the pain in our silent tears
Before we can say "Goodbye" to the pain we survived in fear.
Gloria Large
and
The Chorus Line
http://www.irvingstudios.com/child_abuse_survivor_monument/poetry/706A5_poem4a.htm#706a5
I Remember
I died as I was born.
I saw the light,
Quickly my soul was torn.
Softly in the night,
Pain became my friend.
Sadness and devastation my end.
Clutching at beauty of rock and tree,
To ease the cold within.
Searching for the light,
Finding the fire.
Burned again and again.
Fireflies, flowers, snakes and rats,
Never will it end.
I remember when butterflies were free,
When sap ran sweetly from the tree,
I held my puppy close to me, for comfort.
I remember when blood ran from my mouth
Like ice cream dripping
From a cone on a hazy afternoon.
I remember riding my horse in the shade of the wood
Picnic lunches all alone
My fantasy land of Robin Hood
Castles and guard we all stood.
I remember people all dressed in black
Incense burning
I want to turn back.
I remember the knives,
The will of the group
The chanting, the dancing,
This was no fun group.
I remember the sounds, of screams in the dark
Of death and destruction
On a Saturday night.
I remember crucifixions
In God’s Holy name
Face up on the floor
Nailed in my pain.
Rebecca Martin
http://www.irvingstudios.com/child_abuse_survivor_monument/poetry/706A6_poem1.htm#706a6
MESSAGE
Reality came when I placed my hand in the plaster. As I sat with lamp support, Monica, Jackie, Sue - I felt like a person. I felt like what it feels like to be in existence. I finally feel like I am the reason to heal - even though there are many other reasons, I have never felt like I was a reason.
There is a lot of grief at what I lost. As I look behind me from the mountain top, you see I believe I’ve climbed one peak, I look and see the storms and valleys I have walked through - I feel God and Jesus have been there all along from the beginning
Eye(s) see you forever
Eye(s) see you forever
Eye(s) see you forever
Watching the black cold
feeling my terror, my shame
I’m crying desperate and needy for someone
Not those crazy orange people!
Satan is laughing, the madness of blindness
Dirty, yucky stupid girl!
Is there any worth to the life
Slowly, inside the warmth returns with God
with grief, with fear of the
birth about to happen
Watching me, watching, watching, watching
Tenderness in my hand.
Clare Nickerson
http://www.irvingstudios.com/child_abuse_survivor_monument/poetry/706A7_poem1.htm#706a7
Secret No More
The pain is mine
The knot in my stomach that is there now
Has been with me all my life
The gruesome craving to eat raw meat today
Taught to me by cult members yesterday
Encouraged by mother, the witch
How did I get there ?
In my daddie’s car of midnight blue
Oh how poignant !
This child’s favourite colour.
The joy of the colour masked the fear
and set the tears to shame
The tricycle - midnight blue, of course
To share a ride with sister
I was too small to help.
She screamed
I hurt for I was stepped on as I fell at my daddie’s feet
I cried but no one cared,
So I went to the garden to bury another soul of mine
I was a baby wanting to be held
wanting to be hugged
wanting to be loved
wanting to be cherished
But I was nothing, just another piece of meat
The tightness of my breath
The pain in my chest.
Will not stop me any longer.
I will run no more.
I will open the doors, not in vigilance
But in preparedness to yell
NO MORE ! NO MORE !
The secret will be told
I will hug and love and cherish the child in me
There will be no more beatings that cause life long bruises
EXPOSE ; EXPOSE ; EXPOSE
In the garden, I will cultivate my spirit
It is me
It is mine
To go
To show
To tell
A secret no more.
Sheila Pavey
http://www.irvingstudios.com/child_abuse_survivor_monument/poetry/706A9_poem4a.htm#706a9
Free At Last
I pull, I twist, I squeeze, I stretch
this hard shapeless piece of wax,
Wanting to create a picture
that shows the honest facts.
Needing to show the world
my anguish, sorrow and pain,
Where a child so full of hurt
lay crumpled, covered with shame.
Shame for things done to me
with choices I never had
Constantly told by all
that I was the one who was bad.
As I manipulate this piece of wax,
I feel a warm and cleansing glow,
Where my little spark of hope
can finally start to grow.
Freedom from abuse memories
that are pulled from my dark past
To be healed, respected and believed in
as I begin to shout, "I am free at last!"
Cherlyn Tannor
http://www.irvingstudios.com/child_abuse_survivor_monument/poetry/706A12_poem5a.htm#706a12
http://www.irvingstudios.com/child_abuse_survivor_monument/images/quilt_inventory/706A2_square.htm
Realities/information/
statistics/actions
Many addicts use drugs to escape the truth of being sexually abused. It is not usually a conscious decision, but one that is sublimated into a socially more acceptable activity. "It was a way to escape - there was no one to tell about what was happening to me." "I don’t care what people think when I’m drunk or high." It is more socially acceptable to be using drugs or alcohol than to talk about the reason behind it. It takes the attention away from the sexual abuse. Drugs and alcohol are coping mechanisms which allow addicts to be able to talk to anyone. Most addicts need them to get through the day.
Very few services exist to help with both issues: addictions and abuse. It needs to be understood that the two go hand in hand. The services which do exist are often inadequate, requiring the individual to heal only on the therapist’s terms, or to "get clean first, then we’ll talk". Often if you make one mistake, you’re out of the addiction program. This isn’t fair. Only one out of every 100 people make it, perhaps because of the programs themselves.
Survivors need to value themselves, to be true to themselves. Survivors often find it hard to say no to anything, and survivors need to fit in, so they often say yes. They often have no boundaries, because they often have no idea of what boundaries are. Our abusers took away our trust. When parents, the most trustworthy individuals in a child’s life, tell a child the boundaries and then break them, this tells a child that it’s okay for them to go beyond the rules. As survivor parents, we let our children take control of us because we don’t ever want to break their trust.
We need to understand that treatment for addictions is slow and progressive. You cannot help addicts quickly or with some other drug.
Addictions
Resources are going to have to address both issues: addictions and abuse. We need facilities and clinicians that deal with both issues simultaneously - not one day Alcoholics Anonymous, the next day therapy for abuse.
Addicted survivors have to be able to find a way to deal with the pain without drugs or alcohol. Eventually an addicted person reaches a point where they cannot use the drugs or alcohol because it will kill them. Often, survivors manifesting addictive behaviours find that the experience no longer helps. When nothing works for them any more, this is frequently a turning point in their recovery.
There are common central issues to both emotional and spiritual healing: there are trust issues in both areas, as well as anger and rage, there is also terror, shame and guilt. Healing needs to happen in each of these areas.
Are there pressures in society which push people into addiction? "All of the addicts I have known have been sexually abused." Sexual abuse is a huge contributor to addiction. Some survivors turn to prostitution, a form of addiction.
Concerns
There is an enormous cost to society from addictions and abuse. If we could cure or end child abuse, we would empty prisons and eliminate drug and alcohol problems.
What are the possible consequences of giving out the information that the majority of addicts were abused as children? Would this frighten the survivor? Is it dangerous to provide the information? Many addicts could become normalized as a result.
The statistics and surveys are ever changing. Surveys vary because sometimes people don’t remember being abused or they don't want to tell anyone about their experience.
Survivors need to feel safe to tell, or people won’t come forward to reveal their experiences of abuse.
Confidentiality needs to be maintained. How do we make it safe for people to ask for help? How do we make it so that people don’t feel isolated and alone? Sometimes survivors are the most helpful people for other survivors to talk to.
http://www.irvingstudios.com/child_abuse_survivor_monument/Addictions.htm#706a13
Hatred
Who’s to pay at the end of the day
For the cruelty and pain
That obliterated all sunshine or rain?
Unforgiveness, the judgement, children’s innocent illusion
The apparent unreality and impossible resolution.
Who’s to pay?
Who’s to pay at the end of the day
For the bitterness and sadness
The overwhelming madness?
T.
Shattered Youth
Depression takes over and so I search my soul and my inner self,
Hoping to discover some explanation of a senseless situation.
I look to the mirror
What do I see?
A frightened child,
Please don't let it be me.
In the deepest regions of my confused and cluttered mind,
Are shards of what seem to be a nightmare of the worst kind.
I look to the mirror
What do I see?
A frightened child,
Please don't let it be me.
For years I avoided this reflection because of its unpleasantness
Swiftly running endlessly away from the reality of its existence.
I look to the mirror
What do I see?
A frightened child,
Please don't let it be me.
A safe life, for this young soul, would require a guard.
A rock, a hammer, a fist, thrusting forward
Too hard, too hurtful, too inexplicably wild,
To obliterate the reflection of this child.
And so, I think, I am drawn to a conclusion,
For this child, there will be no more confusion.
Suddenly, the pieces crash to the floor.
The child runs frantically to get out the door.
She searches for the exit and the blood runs cold
As she realizes that it is surrounded by the mold
Of the mirror that she shattered to bits that day.
Destroyed is the escape route to a safe place to play.
T.
http://www.irvingstudios.com/child_abuse_survivor_monument/poetry/709A1_poem17b.htm#709a1
Metamorphosis
A little Child, new to the land,
Came to meet dad, far away.
Taken from home, she is trusting and hopeful
Caring and loving, wanting someone to know she is there.
But she is only a child and, small and insignificant, so
Like the caterpillar in its cocoon.
In my family, I learned to be afraid.
Coarse words and actions not nice to see.
A first secret to keep inside of me.
So, I continued to hide deeper into my
Protective shell feeling different,
Unattractive and used.
Two big secrets converged for me, followed
By panic attacks and depression, you see.
No one to turn to, no one at all.
I’m full of pain, anger and despair.
I feel like I’m drowning in there.
Help me! Stop the pain! Kill the pain! KILL ME!
No! Wait! What about my family?
No! Kill the pain! Take the pills! Kill me!
No! Stop, stop! What about your family?
Help me someone to break out of this shell!
It’s too tight and confining, I can tell.
Help me to find some sense of release
From keeping these secrets all to myself.
A wonderful lady came to my aid and now, I’m learning
To forgive that little girl.
She helped me to see
All the beauty and strength inside of me.
Thank you my friend for your patience and care
For without you, I would not be here.
I can never express how truly grateful I feel
About our time working through all my problems and fears.
It can also happen to you.
Time is a healer and hope is there too.
Courage is needed to block the despair
But when you are done, all is worthwhile;
So keep up your spirit while you try.
M.
http://www.irvingstudios.com/child_abuse_survivor_monument/poetry/709A3_poem1.htm#709a3
Blanking out
Little girl sick –
Gagging – hot
Little hands
Pushing away bloody hands
Tears come.
Throbbing, popping pulse
Beating inside my thing
Crying
Stopped breathing –
No feeling
Blanking out.
I don’t like this
Too too hard
Squishy inside
Lost – no center
Klutzy, clumsy
Dear Daddy do you "no"
I hate.
Maureen McGowan
Workshop Assistant
http://www.irvingstudios.com/child_abuse_survivor_monument/poetry/709A5_poem4c.htm#709a5
The Silent Pain
Physical pain, hard
mental anguish, hard
the hardest thing of all ...
- what it does to the core
Silent not by choice
but by force
He is supposed to
protect
but he kills - me
Despite the pain
I overcome.
Today I am stronger
conscious of the silent
pain in others
No words pass
but so much said.
Silence speaks loud
if people listen
not with ears
but with hearts
H.
http://www.irvingstudios.com/child_abuse_survivor_monument/poetry/709A6_poem2b.htm#709a6
Nothing Stuff
The hardest thing
‘bout child abuse is
If you tell
You’re ostracized.
I told mother;
Her eyes closed
and
opened naught
for
two whole years
but
By then I knew
if
I wanted to be heard
I talked about the weather
and nothing stuff.
I lay huddled in my wool blanket
I’m cold
I’m hungry
I lay listening to the February snow storm,
listening to the wind pulling the tent
and the snow pellets driving against
the canvas.
I’m so cold and hungry.
When I grow up
I’m going to feed my children
and
keep them warm.
Patricia Bear Claw
January 5, 1998
Being involved in the Survivor Monument Project has been a wonderful experience for me. Working with others of like background to erect a work of art that will be on display allows me to know that never again will child abuse be swept under the rug of secrecy. It exists! It acknowledges that and that makes it more comfortable in my mind. I hope it helps others in similar situations to find comfort that they are not alone - this project is breaking the silence.
http://www.irvingstudios.com/child_abuse_survivor_monument/poetry/711A1_poem4a.htm#711a1
Once an Old Story
Like a builder
I repair and prepare
my song
Frightened as I crawl
change - transform
trusting my love
your love
Once this old story
held my attention
Now I don’t need it
Gerry Brodey
http://www.irvingstudios.com/child_abuse_survivor_monument/poetry/711A2_poem2a.htm#711a2
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SHELDON KENNEDY- CHILD ABUSE SURVIVOR- who had the guts to tell Canada what happened to a boy who loved hockey.... and the monster that destroyed a piece of his youth 4-EV-A
To prevent sex abuse, empower the bystander
Sheldon Kennedy, Respect Group Inc.
Sheldon Kennedy, Respect Group Inc.
The following testimony was delivered on Tuesday to the U.S. Congressional Subcommittee on Children and Families by Sheldon Kennedy, the co-founder of Respect Group Inc.
For many Canadians, hockey is everything. It is our passion, our culture and our national pride. Like most boys growing up on the Prairies, I dreamed of playing in the National Hockey League and, luckily for me, that dream came true. I played for the Detroit Red Wings, the Boston Bruins and the Calgary Flames.
But it’s not my dream that I’m best known for — it’s my nightmare. As a junior hockey player, I suffered years of sexual abuse and harassment at the hands of my coach, Graham James.
Despite the nature of the abuse, the hurt I experienced and the fact I knew what was being done to me was wrong, it took me over 10 years to come forward to the authorities. Why didn’t I say anything? This is the question that I asked myself again, and again and again. It’s the question I know everyone else was asking. And it’s the question that plagues the millions of sexual abuse victims around the world.
Even though I wrote a whole book on the subject, the answer is quite simple: Because I didn’t think anyone would believe me. In my case, my abuser was named the International Hockey Man of the Year. In Canada, that gave him almost God-like status. Sound familiar?
The man who preyed on me took advantage of his position as a coach to look for children who were especially vulnerable (single parent households, families with drinking problems, boys who needed a father figure, etc.). These kids — and often their parents too — looked up to him as a hero. This was someone who could make their dreams come true and he used that trust to hurt them. This imbalance of power and authority creates a deeper problem and it’s the one that I think this subcommittee has to deal with head-on if you truly want to prevent child abuse.
In every case of child abuse — certainly in my own — there are people who had a "gut feeling" that something was wrong but didn’t do anything about it. Their attitude was, "I don’t want to get involved," "it’s not my problem," "he couldn’t possibly be doing that" or "the authorities will take care of it."
And that’s what pedophiles and predators are counting on. They are counting on the public’s ignorance or — worse yet — their indifference. That’s what keeps child abusers in business. And that is what you have to address.
From my experience, a child who is being abused has to tell — on average — seven people before their story is taken seriously. Seven. That is completely unacceptable.
When my story became public in 1997, there were people who refused to believe it. Many were angry that I had exposed an ugly side of their beloved sport.
Fortunately, Hockey Canada responded seriously to my situation and made abuse-prevention education mandatory for their 70,000 coaches. And this is the positive message that I want to leave you with this morning.
Seven years ago, I co-founded Respect Group Inc., in partnership with the Canadian Red Cross and its internationally recognized experts in the prevention of child abuse.
Together, we launched an online training program for sport leaders called "Respect in Sport." It focuses on educating all adult youth leaders on abuse, bullying and harassment prevention including a sound understanding of your legal and moral responsibilities.
Our belief at Respect Group is that we may never fully eliminate child abuse, but by empowering the 99% of well-intentioned adults working with our youth, we can greatly reduce it. I am proud to say that, through Respect in Sport, we have already certified over 150,000 youth leaders, which represents a high percentage of all Canadian coaches.
Many sport and youth-serving organizations have mandated the Respect in Sport program, and the list continues to grow: Hockey Canada, Gymnastics Canada, the Province of Manitoba, school boards and some early adopters here in the United States, including USA Triathlon and USRowing. In addition, organizations such as Hockey Canada and Gymnastics Canada have implemented our Respect in Sport program designed specifically for parents.
We also are seeing proactive initiatives by the Canadian government to combat child maltreatment — not just tougher legislation and minimum sentences for perpetrators — but a federal approach to prevention education that spans the ministries that touch our most vulnerable youth.
We have learned that social change takes time and has to occur at both the grass-roots level and from the government on down. I am pleased to say that is exactly what is happening in Canada, and I hope it’s what will happen here in the United States, too.
Over the years, through my work at Respect Group, I’ve learned that:
•Educating the good people — the well-intentioned 99% of our population — is our best defence to prevent abuse;
•Training must be mandatory to ensure full compliance and reduce liability;
•The education has to be simple and consistent;
•All forms of abuse leave the same emotional scars, so training has to be comprehensive;
•Education is best delivered online to ensure consistency, safety of the learner, convenience and the greatest reach; and finally,
•Training must be ongoing, it’s not a one-time thing.
Too often, society’s response to child abuse is to focus on punishing the criminal. If the teacher, priest or coach is sent to jail for a long time, then we feel that we’ve done our jobs as citizens or as politicians. Punishing the bad guys makes us feel good, but it does not fully solve the problem. You need to give all adults working with youth, and all parents, the tools to recognize and respond to abuse when it first arises.
I am under no illusion that such an approach will fully eliminate child abuse, but I do know that mandatory education creates a platform within all organizations for that conversation to happen. Empower the bystanders and you’ll be taking an important first step in breaking the silence on child abuse.
Visit Respect Group Inc. to learn more about Sheldon Kennedy’s work.
Learn more about Canadian Red Cross’ violence prevention work through its program entitled RespectED: Violence & Abuse Prevention.
SHELDON KENNEDY- 4 CHILD ABUSE SURVIVORS- CANADA RED CROSS
RespectED programs & services
Browse Programs as a Learner »
A learner is an individual who takes RespectED courses for interest or professional development but is not interested in facilitating any of the RespectED programs.
Browse programs to find out how to become a RespectED Training Partner or Prevention Educator »
A RespectED Training Partner is a school or an organization that offers Canadian Red Cross RespectED training for children, youth or adults using their personnel who are trained as Prevention Educators or Trainers.
A RespectED Prevention Educator is an individual sponsored by a RespectED Training Partner who has successfully completed the RespectED Prevention Educator Training program and has been certified to deliver specific programs.
How do we partner with RespectED to deliver violence prevention programs in our organization or community? »
http://www.redcross.ca/article.asp?id=39951&tid=001
AND.. CANADIAN RED CROSS- 4 KIDS...
How We Help > RespectED:
Violence Prevention
RespectED:
Violence Prevention
•RespectED programs & services
•Become a Prevention Educator
•For youth
•Aboriginal Communities and Healing
•c.a.r.e.
•Protect your Kids Online
•Prevention Nexus
•News
•Red Cross OnLine Learning
•10 Steps to Creating Safe Environments for Children and Youth
•Protection Legislation
•Contact RespectED
•Evaluation Studies
For youth
Abuse, violence, bullying: the hurt is real – and can be stopped.
You have the right to be protected – and to be safe from violence. No one has a right to harm you, to make you feel small or stupid, or to touch you how and where you don't want to be touched. Not even people close to you. If this is happening to you or a friend, if you are afraid or hurting, please ask for help.
To get help, you can:
•Tell an adult you trust, like a school counselor, your parent or a friend's parent, your teacher or coach, a spiritual leader or your uncle or aunt. Keep telling until you get the help you need!
•Contact the Kids HelpPhone: 1-800-668-6868 or go to http://www.kidshelpphone.ca/
•Call your local crisis line.
•Keep telling until you get help—and remember: this is not your fault!
•Under 19? You have rights.
It's easy to get sucked in... protect yourself!
It could involve the exchange of sex for money or other valuable goods, such as food, drugs or transportation - in other words, something you need. More»
Love isn’t supposed to leave bruises.
As many as 25 per cent of Canadian youth experience violence or abuse in a dating relationship. Learn about the warning signs of an unhealthy relationship and what you can do. More»
Stand up to bullying.
One in five Canadian youth reports being bullied regularly, but when a friend steps in, bullying stops half the time in 10 seconds or less. Learn ways that you stand up to bullying. More»
Become a youth facilitator
The Canadian Red Cross Beyond the Hurt program is a bullying prevention program with a difference -- peer facilitation is what sets this school and community program apart. Older peers, typically grades 10-12, are trained to deliver presentations to youth, with the support of an adult in their school who is also trained. More»
To learn more about the Canadian Red Cross violence and abuse prevention program or to become involved, contact your local Red Cross office.
You Make the Difference – Support Programs that Help Prevent Violence and Abuse
RespectED programs are made possible through the generous support of donors like you. Please donate to the Canadian Red Cross Fund today.
http://www.redcross.ca/article.asp?id=504&tid=030
------------------------------
ABUSED CHILDREN'S HEALING MONUMENT- TORONTO- CANADA
http://www.irvingstudios.com/child_abuse_survivor_monument/images/quilt_inventory/711A2_square.htm
http://www.irvingstudios.com/child_abuse_survivor_monument/poetry/711A2_poem2a.htm#711a2
http://www.irvingstudios.com/child_abuse_survivor_monument/CanadianResponse.htm#top01
-----------------
NO MORE BULLYING- NO MORE- CANADA'S STEPPING UP...
TO CANADA'S CLASSIFIED... 4 EVERY KID IN THE WORLD- whether ur 2 or 102- we've all been there...
see u got that Inner Ninja going on- and don't 4get kids and elders are also ur fans- u chisel ur words in stone on our hearts and bring hope from despair 4 homeless kids and kids who have just had a shitty chance at life- thanks Canadian son... and taps out 2 David Myles who also has Canada's flag wrapped around his heart and soul- the Buddy Holly of Canada
Classified - Inner Ninja ft. David Myles
LINKS ON BULLYING AND CHILD ABUSE- (Mind Rape/Physical Torture/Sexual Assault)
FOR KIDS- TWEENS-TEENS-YOUNGBLOODS- But perhaps most of all..... each and every Canadain Adult- we must take more responsibility and be more vigilant:
To learn more about bullying and if u r being abused- check out:
www.stopcyberbullying.org
www.cyberbullying.novascotia.ca
www.prevnet.ca
www.cpha.ca/en/activities/safe-schools.aspx
http://needhelpnow.ca/app/en/ AND http://needhelpnow.ca/app/fr/
RespectED: Violence & Abuse Prevention
http://www.redcross.ca/article.asp?id=000294
www.kidshelpphone.ca
If you are a victim of bullying, call The Kids Help Phone at 1-800-668-6868.
--------------------
Shania Twain - Black Eyes, Blue Tears - Live!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26Fd5Q2-VC0
LYRICS
"Black Eyes, Blue Tears"
Black eyes, I don't need 'em
Blue tears, gimme freedom
Positively never goin' back
I won't live where things are so out of whack
No more rollin' with the punches
No more usin' or abusin'
I'd rather die standing
Than live on my knees
Begging please-no more
Black eyes-I don't need 'em
Blue tears-gimme freedom
Black eyes-all behind me
Blue tears'll never find me now
Definitley found my self esteem
Finally-I'm forever free to dream
No more cryin' in the corner
No excuses-no more bruises
I'd rather die standing
Than live on my knees
Begging please-no more
Black eyes-I don't need 'em
Blue tears-gimme freedom
Black eyes-all behind me
Blue tears'll never find me now
I'd rather die standing
Than live on my knees, begging please...
Black eyes-I don't need 'em
Blue tears-gimme freedom
Black eyes-all behind me
Blue tears'll never find me now
It's all behind me, they'll never find me now
Find your self-esteem and be forever free to dream
----------------
AND... THE.... REAL.... WORLD.....
LIFE WITH BILLY
LIFE WITH BILLY- NOVA SCOTIA- THE MOST EVIL ABUSE ON A WOMAN
One Billion Rising- breaking the chains of abuse- NO MORE EXCUSES... NO MORE ABUSES
In Canada our laws passted in 1969 making gender love equal.... this is 2013 and Canada loves our kids..... if ya all don't like it.... don't immigrate 2 Canada ok.
NOVA SCOTIA- YOU INSULT YOUTH WORKING AGAINST BULLYCIDES AND 4 ANTI-BULLYING WITH SLEEZY POSTERS AGAINST ABUSE
AND...
1 Billion Rising Lunenburg, nova scotia- CANADA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1SbiHIiLGw
AND...
One Billion Rising Antigonish
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_nyJJcYTl8
---------------------
One Billion Rising-Break the Chains (Short Film)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gl2AO-7Vlzk
-------------
ONE IN THREE WOMEN WILL BE BEATEN, RAPED OR MURDERED ON THIS PLANET....Global Girl Power Rising... and this is NOT just valentine's day...it's every day..... ONE BILLION RISING
One Billion Rising Lunapads & AFRIpads
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWSjCdMxsS0
From Canada to Uganda, sister companies Lunapads and AFRIpads join forces across the world in solidarity with the global One Billion Rising movement to "Strike, Dance and RISE" against violence against women and girls.
Big thanks to Tracy Bee for producing the video, Madeleine Shaw for the creative, and Cortnee Loren Brown | Photography, Leona Fowler, Girlvana Yoga, and Global Girl Power for use of their photos.
--------------
One Billion Rising: Robert Redford on why he is joining Eve Ensler's campaign
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCHXBQIU01Y
------------------------
One Billion Rising - Canada
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LinrSwJXcTM
Published on Jan 27, 2013
I'm Rising Because..."Over 50% of Canadian women by the age of 16 will have experienced at least one incident of sexual or physical violence. Why Would You Not Take Action? "
Toronto City Councillor Kristyn Wong-Tam is Rising with One Billion Rising Toronto on February 14, 2013.
Thank you to fb.com/onebillionrisingtoronto for posting this Canadian perspective. Danya Daccash, M.S.W.
~ http://www.telephonecounsellingforwom...
~ http://www.facebook.com/danyadaccash
-----------------------
One Billion Rising - 2013 - IDLE NO MORE- 10,000 years First Peoples- Curve Lake First Nation
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TMjOWsWcml8
---------------------
From Nova Scotia to Afghanistan- every day is International Women's Day- One Billion Rising- break the chains
The dancing demonstrators of One Billion Rising - EURONEWS- IN AFGHANISTAN- THEY MARCHED-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IuIycEFgVQ
http://www.facebook.com/pages/One-Billion-Rising-Canada/519388444743471
-----------------
Each day is International Women's Day- 64% of the world's population- ONE BILLION RISING- breaking the chains... No more excuses... no more abuses...
BREAK THE CHAIN - ONE BILLION RISING
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fL5N8rSy4CU
-----------------
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